No Longer
by Ikasury
Summary: After being attacked by a crazy man the party rushes their unconcious leader to the closest Inn... the strange thing, when Tess wakes up she finds out her and the party aren't quite the same... Gender-Bending Shenanigans! Companion to 'To Smite In Winter'...
1. Prologue or Waking up in Bed

**A/N:** evening, name's Ikasury, long time reader, generally decent at writing a hilarious story and 'mildly' okay writer :3

This lovely amount of 'crazy' actually comes as a spin-off of my other DA:O story 'To Smite in Winter' and the next chap, or as i've been referring to with my cohort as the 'intro', is chapter 12 of that, and while i'll leave it there i'll also repost it here for sanity's sake :3

Now, its not 'required' to read 'Smite' but would be nice to get a better grasp of my Warden, or you can just play along and figure her (or him?) out from here :3

now, as a courtesy and suggestion from my dear friend i've been using as a pincushion for this, nh09jrb, i wrote this little 'prologue' as a means to 'introduce' where this is coming from for new readers and a small glimpse at my Warden, Tess, a Female, Elf, Arcane Mage-Shapeshifter with white hair, dark tan skin, crystalline blue colored eyes, and red-bricksh colored thorn-like tattoos, before all the insanity that will ensue from this delightful idea of a 'quest line' i'm experimenting with here :3

ahh, the crazy things that can happen before quite reaching the Landsmeet XD

**Dis:** Bioware is crazy-awesome and owns DA:O, i just got Tess, Bal's name, and the shenanigan's about to ensue :3

so, without further ado...

Enjoy!

* * *

Things Mr. Welch can 'No Longer' do…

On the road to Denerim…

The Grey Wardens and party were traveling along the northern road towards Denerim, the capital city of Feralden, seat of the surprisingly much sought after throne, a particularly good brothel, certain _slums_ few ever wanted to mention again, along with every manner of backstabbing brutality 'nobles' were want to inflict on themselves and those around them. In both Wardens' minds it was an evil, evil place neither quite wanted to step foot into ever again…

"Why are we going back there again?" Alistair, a young bastard trained in Templar arts and known for his love of cheese, slow-witted-ness according to _certain_ witches, an inability to cook, sew, and remain '_unharmed'_ in a fight even if it were to save his life, again according to _certain_ witches, and a rather dashing if notably naïve, according to _certain_ assassins, young man who groaned as he was trudging along the path around the back of the group in his full suit of Ancient Warden Armor…

A bark was his first response, as Balthezar, the large painted Mabari just gave him an intelligent look as if he should quite gripping before snorting in discontent at the man he'd never quite 'liked' and trotting ahead towards the head of the group.

Alistair pouted at the Dog's response.

"For once it seems he and I agree," the not-quite-Templar looked groggily to the side, spotting the rather familiar stance of majestic cruelty and sneering personified in that lilt black haired form. Morrigan, a younger Apostate Mage, commonly referred to by 'silly people' as a 'Witch of the Wilds', or by their leader 'Sole-remaining Witch of the Wilds!', was walking in quiet well-adapted to nature steps as she practically glided over the terrain with little to no difficulty, even if it was a road, with her arms crossed, the perpetual demeaning scowl on her face as the woman looked as far down her nose at the taller strawberry blonde man with those poignant golden eyes of hers.

Alistair narrowed his eyes comically at the woman walking next to him, practically at her level since he was slumped over from the prospect of their destination, and all it entailed, and she, as always, had that tall back of hers straight as a board with shoulders flat ready to prove you were smaller than her. He knew better than to ask but jumped on ahead with the game they had gotten used to playing anyway, "What was it _this_ time, hm?" hands went on his hips as he straightened just the slightest with that can't-be-taken-seriously pout on his lips, "'Stop complaining and face this like a man?' hm?" a strawberry blonde brow cocked upward as his features tried hard to suppress the smirk wanting to loose itself.

The immediate response was narrowing of golden eyes, "T'were it merely that, I'd not agree with him, twit," further narrowing as her face garnered a sharper look, becoming more threatening even though neither of them knew it _really_ was. Her shoulders shrugged with the weight of her staff and pilfered sword and dagger as the witch looked him dead on whilst they continued walking, "I'd have corrected him then, saying you'd nought thought of such a thing..." a sudden peak found its way across her lips, turning her scowl into a sneer, "Seeing as you're not _quite_ a man in earnest…" Black eyebrow rose at the hinted insinuation known to all the party as completely true…

Nearly two years ago, when this journey had started when the two of them had just met back in the Kokari Wilds with their vaulted leader, Alistair would have jumped at the woman's suggestion of his manhood quite violently and quite loudly. Almost two years later and all he did was squint his eyes at her, leaning over with a rather girlish pose with his hands on his hips before smacking his lips in a way that cause the mighty Witch of the Wilds to wince at before forcibly, and failing miserably, making his voice higher as he continued with his pose, "Pah-lease!" he waved one hand in a decidedly not-masculine way, "Whatever do you take me for then?"

The Witch's shutter was quite obvious before she took a step back and practically growled at the man, "An incompetent fool not worthy of his bloodline!"

That evil I'm-a-bastard-and-I-know-it grin widened across the man's face, "Oh _now_ I see what the big charade is all about, hmm?" growling ensued as a response along with vocal threats to masculinity and a few choice words about certain peoples' mothers ensued…

Moving further up in the party line, Wynne, the old, surprisingly still alive despite actions NOT age, healing mage just sighed deeply while shaking her head at the ensuing verbal 'war' _those_ two were want to get at again. She looked up at the sky, noting the position of the sun further along and closer to the ridge of the Frostback Mountains then it was the last time she'd checked, noting perhaps a few hours had passed since the last one, "I think they might actually be getting better…"

There was a lilting laughter to the older woman's right, "Truly you think?" the elder mage looked at her travel companion, the younger-then-her-yet-seemingly-older-then-most Orlesian Bard just giggled with a light in her eyes of someone far younger and innocent. Leliana, the former chantry sister and 'ex'-Bard had been traveling with the 'arguing' pair behind them for nearly as long as they had themselves and as far as she could tell they still fought as bad as the first day she'd met them as they did every hour since.

"_Si!_" both woman looked to the left as a short, pointy eared man with all the stealth and charm of a golden minx wheedled his way up their side, mostly Wynne's, as he grinned at both women that debonair smile and over flowing charm of his, "Our two friends have certainly gotten better, yes?"

Blue eyes from the bard glared flatly at the overly flirtatious Antivan elf as she rather appropriately put her hands on her hips, "And what makes you say that, hmm?" both rogues looked back at the arguing pair conspiratorially while the mage in the center just rolled her eyes with a soft chuckle at the follies of youth. Leliana's eyes remained narrowed on the two, lost in their own little world of belittling and verbally backstabbing each other, "Looks the same as the day I met them…"

"Aaaah, but not to me!" There was a dangerous smirk, if still playful by the assassin's standards as he eyed the pair not far behind, watching as the two had halted a moment to growl directly in each others' faces, "They were agreeing quite eagerly the first time I saw them…"

The red haired bard looked over at the Antivan quite queerly, "Zevran, they both only agreed to kill you the day they met you," she blinked at his absurdity, knowing this account first hand seeing as she had been there herself and at the time, quite foolishly, thanked their leader in sparing the man's life despite the opposition of _those_ two actually agreeing for once in killing the man that had been hired to kill the two Wardens. Thinking back on it now, she probably would have let them kill the man, at least then the chantry sister would have been more apt at keeping her vows if not for the sinister temptations of 'the game' the damn elf brought with him.

"_Si!"_ the golden elf said with that same joviality as the two were walking again up right with their mage companion quietly watching them both, "and a good idea in my mind, quite intelligent in fact, I would have done the same," he said it so flippantly Wynne had to give him a look which he grinned suavely at, Leliana grew immune to his charms long ago and just rolled her baby-blue eyes. His ear twitched at sensing his efforts ignored and turned his light colored eyes back on the younger human woman, "But that's not the point, no?"

"Oh?" a red brow rose skeptically, "And what _is_ the point?"

The grin spread on his lips as he leaned in closer to the women as if revealing a secret, "The point, my friends, is seeing them argue in such a fashion brings joy to my loins," somehow he kept a straight face and an innocent smile despite his words.

Leliana put her head in her hands, "Why do I bother?"

Wynne loosed a well-kept breath, maintaining her composure through years of experience with teenage mages and over a year in the elf's company, "Still after Alistair, hmm?" she raised a wizen brow, knowing to some extent the intentions of the elf.

The smaller man grinned with sparkles in his eyes at the elder mage, "My Darling Wynne! You know me so well!" he dramatically opened his arms as if to envelop the older woman in a hug, "Let us share this touching moment by letting me rest my head on your magnificent bosom!"

The older human woman only dignified the constant request with a flat glare.

Leliana on the other hand started laughing into her hand, watching the familiar scene of the debonair elf trying, and failing, to yet again experience the pleasures of his dubbed 'magestic bosom'.

There was a bark at the Bard's side, softly only garnering her attention as the large Mabari nuzzled his head against her free hand.

The human woman grinned at the dog, ignoring the attempts at reconciliation and recompense going on next to her as she scratched the dog's big head, "And what do you think, hmm?"

The large war-dog snorted disapprovingly, but the bard knew it wasn't because he thought all bipedal species were silly, but because he didn't like Alistair one bit near the woman of his adorable, if misguided, affections.

The red head laughed in her throat, giving his big mastiff head a good scratch before watching him trot off further along the group.

The dog came upon the golem and dwarf, he sniffed a moment before snorting loudly and moving along, never quite liking the scent the berserker dwarf had around him, and he was a dog.

"Pfft, big nug dunno what he's snorting at," Oghren, a warrior caste dwarf scoffed at the pooch as it tucked away its stubby tail and moving ahead. He took a swig of his seemingly endless decanter and let out a loud belch, "Ahh that hits the spot," the little red head chuckled wiping his braided mustache, "Wonder if there's an alehouse in Denerim…"

"I'm sure there is," the golem sounded miffed, Shale the sole 'female' golem looked ahead bored. Since her discovery of previously being a 'female' 'dwarf' the little man had stuck around trying to 're-teach' her all the things a 'proper' woman of the warrior caste ought to know… _She_ often informed him about how she couldn't drink and the little squishy would just laugh claiming there wasn't a thing alive that couldn't drink. The ensuing debate wasn't worth repeating. Glowing eyes narrowed as the construct looked down at the perpetually drunk dwarf, "Looking for another place to run around streaking, hmm?"

The little man let out a boisterous laugh, "Like I'd need an alehouse for that!" that was a complete understatement if the deep sighing from in front and behind them was any indication, "Naw, just looking for another person to appreciate my special brew," despite being unable to be affected by such a brew even Shale gave a slight shutter at the idea, "Gotta get more'n one opinion on this new batch…"

"Hmm," the golem sounded completely disinterested but that wasn't going to stop the small man from talking _at_ her, "Thought the elder mage had quite the taste for brews?"

"By the stone she does!" the little red head nearly jumped in delight before looking oddly contemplative, "Though like I said, need someone else to test it, one good set of tastebuds ain't enough for anything… uhh… _certain_?"

"Conclusive," the golem added without any effort, "Not had any of the others try it?"

Another boisterous laugh, "Pah-lease, them surfacers would fall flat on their faces if they had a swig 'a this!" the golem rolled her glowing eyes completely ignoring the desire to correct him by stating the 'elder mage' was a surfacer. The scruffy man rubbed his beard in thought, "Tried ta get the red head and elf to try it, though neither have a taste for ale, all them froof-froof drinks they like ruining their tastes," he stuck out his tongue with a followed, "Bleh."

The golem raised a brow as much as her stoney features would allow, "It speaks of the painted elf, yes? Not It?"

That garnered another belly-aching laugh from the dwarf, "That girl tried, got a sip and dropped like a nug before a crawler, quite the sight!" his laughter continued before settling in an oddly respectable grin, "Girl's got the heart ova dwarf but sadly build like them pansy elves…"

The golem snorted, "Thought It _was _an elf…"

"Psh," Oghren waved his hand dismissively, "Girls got stone in her veins well enough, that damn tree-blood and pointy ears was a fluke…"

Oddly the construct chuckled, "It certainly is an odd one, that's true…"

The two children of stone chuckled to themselves over their leader as the Mabari caught up the the largest man in their group. The war-dog gave a happy bark trotting up the Qunari's side, panting openly up at him wagging his stubby tail before nudging the man's hand.

Sten, the Qunari captain, a foreign follower of the _Qun_ come to the lands of Feralden to discover the threat of the blight for his people had been a captive set on dying before their leader's intervention and with the small elven woman's help had been set free and regained his sword and honor to continue his mission. The large quiet semi-giant respected the junior Warden for her deeds and actions, along with her stubbornness to not back down to him despite her diminutive size and gender, the woman had proven long ago her worth as a fighter, jumping in headlong into a fight with massive sword in hand despite being a 'mage', in his opinion she certainly contradicted everything he was ever taught about women, elves, and mages, but that was something about her and many of the peoples in this foreign land he'd come to a certain level of terms with. The Mabari nudging his hand was something else entirely, a war-beast meant and breed as a living weapon for its master, he had been the first of this group to earn his respect, the golem next perhaps since it too was a weapon of war, a warrior giving up everything to become a living weapon, a truly respectable feat, and the rest had earned his respect in battle, but none so much as the woman standing ahead of him.

Tess, 22 year old elven arcane mage and shapeshifter stood with one hand on her hip and her helmet under her other arm in her favored juggernaut armor with the Yusaris strapped to her back as she surveyed the area with keen crystalline colored eyes. The white haired dark skinned elven woman scratched along the brick-reddish thorn-like tattoos on her cheek as a pointed ear twitched, "Hmm…" white brows furrowed before she looked back at Sten, "Guess this is as good a spot as any, huh?" she gave the large grey skin man a smirk looking down and seeing her beloved Bal panting next to his feet. Her smirk became a wide grin, "C'mere boy," she waved her hand and the Mabari gave a playful bark before going towards his master, stubby tail wagging.

The Qunari gave that familiar dismissive growl as he shrugged his shoulder, tired of carrying all the camping gear, "As good a place as any…" his violet eyes eyed the smaller woman as a thought flitted through his mind, "Not trying to shirk your duty to return to Denerim as quickly as possible, Warden?" if the Qunari could smirk the look on his stone like face was as close as it got.

The little elven Warden stiffened for a moment, ear twitching was a sure sign of something fishy about what she was about to say, before she stood up straight and looked the man in the eye with a funny scowl on her face, "I'd do _no_ such thing, _Qunari_…"

The edge of the large man's lips stayed up just the slightest, oh he knew the truth, but that didn't stop him from going about setting up camp as usual, letting her scowl at him all she wanted as the rest fell into their routines about setting up their lodging for the evening. True it _was_ relatively early for them to be stopping on the road, and there was certainly a town not far down the road many of them were sure, but since no one _really_ was in any hurry to get to Denerim and deal with nobles and whatever insanity the Landsmeet would provide, even if it _was_ still a ways off, the party went about setting up camp with little to no complaints.

Meaning, Alistair tried to set up his tent while Morrigan giggled evilly at his apparently failing to do so before he snapped a post and everyone watched that tent tumble on the two, another fight ensuing. Wynne shaking her head having her nighttime accommodations already set, as her and Leliana had finished their tent easily and watched as the guys continued fumbling with there's while enjoying the 'entertainment'. Shale wondered the parameter, Sten removed his armor to clean it, Zevran watched the two fight, Oghren enjoyed a good drink, and Tess sat on an appropriate log with a smirk enjoying the evening's shenanigans as Bal laid at her feet.

It was to this scene that the sudden sixth sense of coming battle registered to them all, immediately all the party stiffened in anticipation as something leapt out of the bush and went raving through the camp.

Tess, being the calmest and closest to whatever-it-was had just enough time to slip on her helmet before she turned to see something fuzzy as something heavy and blunt knocked said helmet right off her head. Dizzy and seeing stars from the ringing the junior Warden had _just_ enough time to see that whatever-it-was had a really big mace before the thing became intimately familiar with her face…

The pain blotted out whatever happened next as the next thing she registered was the weightless feeling of falling before hitting the ground hard on her head. When the lights disappeared she saw the sky as Bal rushed up to her sniffing her spinning before howling and running off… as things became hazy and the feeling of pain all over her face numbed she registered a white blot and something that sounded like a scrap before consciousness completely slipped away…

xXx

"… _Bloody hell what was wrong with that man!"_

"_Dunno, but that was damn funny… HA! Right on the head…"_

"_Was right hilarious, first time saw It downed so quickly…"_

"_T'was a mace to the face… suppose the fact she's still breathing is rather remarkable…"_

"_Ow! Can't you be more gentle!"_

"_Hmm, thought I heard some twit complaining…"_

"_Morrigan focus on him, this isn't the time to be snippy…"_

"…"

"_What was that?"_

"_Just saying T'is hard to concentrate… my head's still jumbled a bit, sure you can't handle him? You __**are**__ the better healer…"_

"_And I've got to stabilize Tess, girl, now use that training I spent time giving you and right his arm…"_

"…"

"_Without complaining…"_

"… _yes, mage…"_

"_Aww, you can do it with a smile…"_

"_Don't try me, twit…"_

"_Ow!"_

"_So about our… friend? … What do we do with him?"_

"_I'm sure there's a bounty or something we can get in the town near here…"_

"_Gold sounds good, Leliana my dear, mind helping me with this…"_

"… _sounds good to me…"_

"_Oy! Get a room while yer at it! Ain't stayin' out here with madmen roaming about!"_

"…_hmhm, is the mighty warrior caste scared of a few brigands?"_

"_Psh, brigands I can_ _handle... just not without a good ale and them Wardens down, though…"_

"_Ow!"_

"_Quiet!"_

"…_Sides that sodden bastard was a bit ticked in the head iffin' ya ask me, feel a bit safer in an inn then out here… ugh, and feelin' a bit woozy from that blow'a his…"_

"…_Yes… I hear meeting the ground head first can be quite disorienting…"_

"_Stuff it stone an' help me grab this stuff…"_

"_Hrm…"_

"_How is she?"_

"_Stable… for now… that was an odd blow… take care transporting her, I healed the external wounds, no idea if there's any damage further in though…"_

"_Mmm…"_

_-Bark-_

"_Come on, _Kadan_, she'd want you by her side now…"_

_-Bark!-_

"_Ow! Maker's breath woman, have you no bedside manner!"_

"_I've no idea what that means, twit… hold still…"_

"… _when you're done, come along you two…"_

"…"

"_I heard that…"_

"_I didn't say anything!"_

"_But you were thinking it…"_

"…"

"_So, spider-form and carry me, hmm? I'm injured and all…"_

"_Don't push your luck fool… and you've no idea what it's like to be hit in six out of eight eyes with a mace, so _**no**_ I'll not be taking that form for quite a while yet…"_

"… _ow… that just hurts thinking about it…"_

"_You've no idea… come along crybaby…"_

"…"

"_And stop that simpering… T'is an irritant…"_

"_Aww, you care so much…"_

xXx

Light and the feel of fuzz in 'her' head was the first thing Tess registered. Then the fluffy feeling of a bed as opposed to her normal bedroll and furs from 'her' tent. Despite the odd fuzz the Warden raised a hand and rubbed 'her' eyes, feeling oddly stiff and overall weird. Lowering 'her' hand the dark skinned elf opened 'her' eyes and stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. From the condition 'she' assumed they'd grabbed a couple rooms in a relatively cheap inn.

'She' snorted, feeling weird as 'she' wiggled her nose and stiffly tried sitting up. The last thing she recalled was that magnificent blow that popped off 'her' helmet then seeing stars, sky, Bal then that familiar languid world between the fade and consciousness.

Blinking crystalline eyes the elf looked around, the room given her had a bed, dresser and door. Rather sparse but 'she' got the feeling if 'she' opened that door it would open into another room not the hall, for some reason whenever they got rooms at an Inn 'she' usually got some room to 'herself' and Bal with a kind of 'meeting' room attached, the elf-mage assumed it had something to do with being 'Leader' and 'Warden' but it was surely efficient.

'She' stretched; something about the blanket slipping off 'her' chest didn't feel right. Blinking curiously the white haired elf looked down and noticed somethings decidedly missing…

"HOLY SWEET MAKER!" the unusually deep voice leaving 'her' throat caused the elf to squeak as a tan and tattooed hand jumped to 'her' throat and noticed a relatively large bump that _definitely_ should not have been there.

Crystal colored eyes twitched as they looked down and one hand grabbed the blankets and tossed them… _**THAT**_ _definitely_ should _**NOT**_ have been there…

A strange manly scream echoed throughout the Inn as 'Tess', Elf, Mage, and Warden discovered 'she' had woken up a man.

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**A/N:** i'll say this, even though i say it in the next chap but might as well here too :3

this draws inspiration from KylaBosch's 'First Impressions', a 'Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG...' inspirational poster about the cursed 'Mace of Masculinity/Femininity', as well as my own experiences in D&D :3

oh the shenanigans that will ensue... this might actually be a bit more serious then its parent story, but i plan to have quite the bit of examination of the different looks at Gender-Bending and the differences in psychology of men/women as well as the effects of sudden hormone swapping on people's personalities...

again, i'd love to shout out and thank nh09jrb for their help, and constant poking, to get me to get this up... go read their stuff, its good an they're better then me with consistant updates :P

Comments, questions, opposing views (Review :3)

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	2. Intro or Well that's New

**Edit:** this is pretty much verbatium from 'To Smite in Winter' chapter 12, but figured since i already had it up, might as well throw it up with this 'new' segment... i'm leaving it there as its where it originated :3

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**A/N:** by the nine i could not resist any longer... 10-some-k and this baby is just the 'start' of this 'quest' line... oh the horror i could do... XD why, why is there NEVER a quest like this in any game? XD

okay, as for the 'where in the nine h-lls did this come from?' several points, one being a lovely story called 'First Impressions' by KylaBosch, which is a lovely take inspired by a funny GB pic of Ali and Morri, and their story is where i got the names for 'them' while the rest is thanks to goggle-searching 'names' and having a jolly time trying to figure out acceptable 'close enoughs' and fem/men interchangables... Two, being a hilarious 'RPG Inspirational Poster' of the series of 'Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG' consisting of 'certain' cursed items and never, ever, again using them for 'fun' and creative uses... AKA: plot-loops and 'hilarity ensues'... just up my alley obviously~ ... not to mention my own 'trials and tribulations' in the lovely old school pen and paper style game of D and D... i swear to whatever gods above, those that do NOT know DnD or who Mr. Welch are officially revoked of their geek cards :3

also, special thanks to nh09jrb for their special contribution of being quarter-board-target for the insanity that is my creative process... they can tell you, THERE'S **A LOT** MORE TO THIS... XD and being generally awesome with their own stories :3

so, without further ado...

ENJOY!

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Things Mr. Welch can 'No Longer' do… pt. 1

One day…

"Okay, somebody explain to me just what the hell happened last night," Cold crystalline eyes accompanying the oddly 'lower' toned voice peered across the table at what were 'normally' her companions. With the ensuing silence, brought on by the uncomfortable realization of just '_what'_ had become of them it was easy to understand why they were all… _distracted_. 'Tess'… the normally 'female' Warden scratched the faint white stubble on 'his' chin before coughing, still not used to the sound of 'his' voice, "Seriously, why the hell am I suddenly a man?" his ear twitched as he glanced at a mirror not far off catching sight of the absolutely scrumptious male elf with the dark red tattoos, scruffy white stubble, and those alluring crystal colored eyes, "A very sexy Elf-man…"

"Someone's not conceited or anything," a very bored sounding, now shirtless, pale skinned and well-toned 'man' snorted, running a hand through 'his' black hair.

"Hey!" 'Terry', now fully turned to the full length mirror in 'his' room eyed his form, turning it around and examining it approvingly, "I'm sexy and I know it!" those now-male and dangerously suave and hansom crystal colored eyes turned to those bored looking gold ones of the 'man' who spoke, "Not that I can't say much for you, Morgan!"

At the… '_Warlock's'_ glare the demented still-smaller-then-him white-haired elf-mage grinned wider.

A strawberry blonde 'woman' not standing far off from the… '_Warlock_' snorted. At the unusually high toned sound she put her hand over her mouth, "By the Maker I sound like a girl!"

The gold-eyed Warlock just glared at the now-woman not-quite-Templar, "So far, right now you _ARE_ a woman..." those eyes narrowed further, "idiot."

Another glaring contested ensued, only now completely reversed, with the formally 'Witch' of the wilds glowering down with her svelte form at the stocky woman in armor.

"Oh that's just too hilarious to even look at," 'Terry' tried so hard not to snicker.

The rest of the group was still in relative shock…

'Lenard' was staring down at his now topless form, since the primary concern of all the former females was about how they no longer fit their 'shirts' in the right way. A red brow was lightly twitching as his baby-blues just stared at the lacking cleavage, broader shoulders that stopped 'him' from wearing his previous 'battledress' and the now uncomfortable bulge in 'his' tight leather pants, "I'm a man…"

"It's not so bad," out of everyone the one that seemed to 'change' the least was Zevran… or well… Zevran. 'She' still looked relatively the same, same height, same light build, same colorings, the only difference apparently between a 'male' Zevran and a 'female' one was what _equipment_ went where. Fondling her own breasts with a garish grin on her lips the golden elf just smirked, "I like these, handheld, so much nicer compared to Tess' former…"

"Ahem," 'Terry' glared icy daggers at Zevran, "What was that about my boobs…"

"Nothing _Mio Beau_," Not looking up, still fondling herself through her oddly still fitting leathers.

Terry still glared, also shirtless like the other two women-turned-men that gained considerable height, though 'Lenard' seemed to have gained the most making his former outfits neigh-impossible to wear, "I'll remember this when we turn back and you mention something about my breasts again…"

There was the sudden sound of a very distinct **_Slap!_** As the now-female elf and two shirtless males turned to the two they'd previously ignored. Morgan now sported a nice red mark on his face that he was absentmindedly rubbing with one finger and… '_Alissa_' was breathing heavy, red faced, and hand extended as if just striking something… probably Morgan.

Gold eyes just narrowed on the now smaller not-Templar, "You hit like a girl…" was his only snide comment.

There was a distinctly higher pitched growl from the… _smaller_ woman as she flexed her hands in front of her wishing Morgan had kept his old throw around neck piece so she could strangle him with it, "If you haven't noticed, I **_AM_** a girl now!"

The two elves and now-Viking put their hands over their mouths trying desperately _not_ to snicker.

Morgan looked at Alissa flatly, "T'is no excuse…"

There was some infernal female-scream as the strawberry blonde threw up her hands, turned around and stomped to the other side of the room.

Terry, Lenard, and Zevran bit their lips, again trying to meld in with the background so as not to be noticed by the fuming female not-Templar and the now 'Warlock' of the Wilds.

Luckily there was a knock on the door, "Excuse me, Tess?" the voice sounded wizened and Terry could only assume it was Wynne.

Twitching an ear and completely forgetting about the effects of… whatever caused them to swap genders, he answered, "Come in!"

There was silence, almost as if the elder mage didn't know how to respond, "Zevran? Is that you?"

"Sod…" hand met face as Terry realized his 'lower' voice didn't sound right, even through a door apparently. He cleared his throat as if to attempt communication again…

"Uh, I mean, 'come in!'" only to be beat by Zevran's much higher than even his 'normal' voice. Icicles pointed at the golden little minx.

When the door opened it wasn't exactly the 'Wynne' they had been expecting, "Oh, I see I'm not the only one affected," those smirking older grey eyes were undeniably the elder mage they all knew… it was the suddenly long white beard covering his slightly broader stature that threw them all off.

Morgan and Alissa just stared.

Terry and Lenard had their jaws hanging open, the elf having a _slight_ twitch in his eye and right ear.

But Zevran… poor poor Zevran fell to her knees, hands raised to the sky and started shouted, "Damn you Maker! Damn you and all your kin for giving me sexy, sexy handheld boobies but depriving the world of Wynne's 'Magestic Bosom'!"

"Hey!" Terry snapped out of 'shock' long enough to give his elf counterpart yet another glare…

"Yes," the now male elder mage leaned on his staff, "About this whole thing-"

"WARDEN!" a suddenly loud shout had them all jump as something 'red' zipped into the room through the still open door Wyn was standing by. All gathered blinked before looking down… at the oddly sparkly eyed female dwarf standing in front of the white-haired male elf, hands spread out wide showing 'her' bare chest, "I'VE GOT TITTIES!" the grin on… 'Olga' increased as she fisted said 'titties', "They're big and juggly!"

Lenard put a hand over his eyes, "Did... not… want… to see…"

Terry was too shocked to do anything but stare…

Morgan looked at his nails while Alissa, standing not far off, was looking at the ceiling thanking the Maker 'she' didn't have to share a room with… 'Olga'… and that 'she'd' thought to put a shirt on before seeking 'help'…

Wyn just blinked, stroking his old man beard.

And Zevran, poor sweet Zevran who just moments ago was cursing the Maker for taking away the greatest 'bosom' known to all sentient kind just happened to be at 'eye' level to Olga's fondling. Mesmerized, the now-female elf just kept staring before turning once again up to the ceiling, "Thank the Maker!" and immediately went to go grab 'Olga's' considerable cleavage…

… Only to have her hand slapped by the smaller woman, "Hands off woman! I'm playing with them first!"

It almost sounded like the formally-male-elf whined with her hands flexing only inches away from the new 'magical bosom'.

"Warden," the eerily high pitched voice attracted the attention of all gathered, except the two on the floor still rapt in the new 'holy bosom'. Another moment of jaw-dropping silence ensued as a slender, tall; grey skinned woman with sexy white-dreads entered the now-male-elf's room.

"I think I'm in love," slipped from Terry's mouth as the woman, surprisingly _still_ the tallest in the group looked at them with those hardened violet eyes. Lenard, standing next to the male-elf and a considerable two heads taller only nodded dumbly in agreement.

'_Stana_' gave that familiar growl, now of a higher pitch, as 'she' narrowed those violet eyes on the two _still_-shorter men.

Wyn giggled to himself, amused by the 'young men's' reactions to the exotic now-woman.

"Put those away," Morgan grunted bored pointed at the two males with his staff.

Both men blushed and put their hands in front of their pants.

"Uncomfortable," Terry muttered trying to adjust his pants, "So wait, you 'guys' have to deal with this kind of 'random' occurrence all the time?"

Stana glared, Alissa had her hand over her eyes, and Zevran was _still_ too enraptured by Olga's bosom, along with said female dwarf, to answer the now-male-elf's question.

"At least you aren't wearing leather," Lenard looked exceedingly uncomfortable, "Tight, tight leather…"

"I heard 'tight' and 'leather' in the same sentence," golden hair popped up from ogling dwarven cleavage as her light eyes scanned the room, finding Lenard, Viking-esque Lenard with his hands over his crotch in tight, _tight_ leather pants, "Mmm," she narrowed her eyes and licked her lips, "I like the sight of that…"

Lenard's cherry complexion almost matched his hair as he looked down at the devious little golden elf-woman not far from his feet. Out of reflex he moved closer to the smaller yet-still-bigger-then-Zevran male elf that was their leader with something that sounded like a squeak.

"Ahem," Clearing his throat, crossing his arms and ignoring the sexy-tall-man leaning closer to him, "Well, since we're all 'mostly' here," his crystal colored eyes scanned the room looking at his cohorts, "Back to what I was asking earlier about-"

A very distinct howl was heard as the door was yet again thrown open as a blur of brown high-tailed it towards their now-male leader, running around him and settling down whining behind his feet.

The gathered party had just long enough to register it was a '_slightly_' smaller Mabari whining at the now-man's feet before the hall started shaking and they heard a distinct, "Get back here you cur!" as Shale made her grand entrance, glowing eyes immediately finding the dog as the construct pointed at the dog, "I don't care what you think you're doing but-"

"Shale," the now-male white haired elf growled at the living stone.

"Hmm?" the living stone stopped in its path and looked up at the topless male elf, "Hmm? What's It want? I was about to get at that cur for _spoiling_ itself on the carpet down-"

"Wait," Lenard stepped forward, looking at the stone curiously with a red raised brow, "You don't notice anything… '_different_' about us?"

Glowing eyes shifted in a curious way as the golem turned to the taller red-haired man, "Well it suddenly seems taller I suppose?"

"'_Taller_'!" red brow twitched as the Viking-esque man advanced on the stone looking at it eye-to-eye for the first time, "That's _it!_"

Shale blinked, tilting its head slightly, "Was there something else?" she turned to the now-male elf-Warden, looking him up and down and only tilting her head further, "hmm?" the golem looked around at the gathered people, noticing something definitely 'different' as she looked from the 'taller' Bard, to their 'taller' leader, and then oddly 'down' at the dwarf, "Is something going on?" the construct quirked glowing eyes and pointed at 'Olga', "Why are all of you running around topless? Thought It and the rest of the women would find some offense to this…"

Lenard's hand met face as he growled slightly.

Terry openly started laughing.

Olga looked down at her 'new' chest, "I like lookin' at 'em rock," the little red head put her stubby arms on her hips and thrust out her 'vaulted' chest pulling an oddly female pose, "Ya got somethin' to say about my new titties?"

Next to the little woman Zevran, still on her knees if slightly closer to Lenard despite the Viking-esque man's annoyance, leaned over with proverbial stars in her eyes with hands clinched in front of her own covered chest, "They are rather magnificent…"

"Uh-uh," the little woman put up a still rather… _furry_ hand, "Back off Elf, just 'cause I turned wymin don't mean I'll be seekin' out yer bed or accepting any a them proposals of yours…"

Zevran blinked a moment, taking her eyes _away_ from the openly revealed chest of magnificence… even if it was attached to a female version of 'Oghren', "Hmm? Proposal you say?" she looked up tapping her chin in thought, "Well I suppose, since I _am_ now womanly as well…" 'She' looked down at the open mouthed and beardless face of the 'little woman', "And you do appear to smell less…"

"Eh?" suddenly Olga raised an arm, noticing _less_ arm hair and sniffed, "Huh, s'ppose ya might be on ta something Elf," the dwarven woman crossed her arms, "Hmm, so yer a woman too ya say?" the red head tilted, "Don't see much difference…"

There was a snort above them, causing the two on the ground to look up at the white-haired stubbly chinned male elf with arms crossed over his tattooed chest and the obvious scowl on his face, "Wouldn't be the first…"

A blonde brow rose as the female elf leaned over onto the male elf's leg, causing Lenard to move _away_ so as not to get involved, "Aww… is my dear… _Mio Beau_ mad?"

Without looking down Terry's cold crystal eyes narrowed forward, "Get off my leg…" only to kick out slightly forcing the golden female to get off.

"Aww," she whined, she _WHINNED_ and some of the now-men aside from their leader cringed as it registered as _cute_… then she sniffled.

"Ugh, make it stop," Morgan looked close to throwing up as he had a hand over his stomach.

Alissa, next to the warlock, had her hands up and clinching them, "Why is it so… _cute?_" the now-taller warlock next to her just stared with an even _more_ sickened look. Sensing the 'evil' that was the black haired apostate, no matter the gender, the strawberry blonde turned her _adorable_ baby-face with those light brown eyes at him, "Witch! What's wrong with me!" Morgan was too disgusted by the look… and the '_feelings'_ it was igniting to have a witty retort out quick enough. Facing forward again Alissa looked just as stricken as the warlock next to her, "Why do I sound like such… such… such a _girl_!"

Regaining _some_ composure the warlock growled, ignoring the heat on his face and in his stomach, "Ugh, you're stupidity knows no bounds," the woman glared at him vehemently, now _THAT_ was a look he could deal with! "T'was already discussed," golden eyes glared just as much, "You. _ARE._ A woman…"

"So, uh, Elf," the little dwarven woman nudged the cheekily grinning golden elf, "'Bout that… uh, _proposal_," despite being now a 'female' dwarf, that lecherous grin was _still_ completely Olghren, "Two wymin, eh?" those red eyebrows went up and down trying to be suggestive, it was surprising how much better that _look_ worked on a female dwarf over her normal male self.

The female elf blinked, sitting with her hands in her lap as she just stared at the smaller woman, "Beg pardon?" then there was _that_ look on Olga's face, cheeky grin and moving eyebrows, again, it was surprising how much more effective it was on a female then her male version, probably because it was such a 'new' thing, yea, that's what Zevran would tell herself later, "Yes… two woman. Us. My place." That good old Zevran leer kicked back on, making the dwarven woman blush surprisingly, something must have been throwing them off if the two most lecherous of the group were blushing like schoolgirls at a few passed words between each other, Zevran figured as she narrowed her eyes and leaned in on the little woman, "I get to have my way with _those_ magnificent assets of yours while you get to see mine…" Okay, so _maybe_ Zevran wasn't _'**that**_' affected, she could still pull this off after all.

Olga was left a stuttering drooling mess and conscious thought was debatable for the next hour…

"Fu-" Lenard, who'd been leaning behind their leader suspiciously closer and closer to the two females on the floor, suddenly got a _very_ pained look across his face and hands jumped to the front of his pants, "Sweet Andraste-"

"Stolen Kickers!" The red-haired bard looked down to see Zevran with sparkles in her eyes as she was sitting up straight, leaning closer to him with her arms clutched in front of her chest and for some reason Lenard's baby-blues could not pull away from the 'bulge' Zevran's unconscious (or entirely purposeful) _squeezing_ did to make his 'hand-helds' seem just that much bigger in that tight, tight leather…

All of that, combined with the image of a woman's '_stolen knickers_' had Lenard back in an amusing cherry complexion, again, as one hand went to cover the lower half of his face as he turned decidedly _away_ from the devious little minx that was Zevran. It seemed no matter the gender, Zevran could work 'her' magic on anyone without even trying…

At the reaction of the near-giant the little golden elf just sat back and started laughing in victory, yes, she was _still_ 'Zevran' and could _still_ completely work her charms on anyone. Filling with a new bout of confidence for striking two down (three if she counted Alissa's 'cute' comment) the devious little elven minx set her sights on the delicious piece of male elf standing in between them all...

"Don't even think about it," Terry said without even looking down.

Zevran pouted, decidedly cutely, with a _slight_ glare at their leader… out of the corner of her eye she noticed Morgan raising a black brow and decided that was another 'win'. Feeling slightly satisfied, and still glaring at the taller male elf, "I will get you my pretty, if it's the last thing I do…"

"Uh-huh," the stern looking male elf just crossed his arms, continuing his ardent stare forward, "Just keep at that…" his crystal, and decidedly far more _dangerous_ looking eyes narrowed on the exotic tall beauty sticking next to the old man, "I've got other prey to attend too…"

At the flash of anger, and possibly jealousy, that passed over the elf-woman's eyes Morgan slapped a hand over his eyes, "Make it stop…"

"Morgan's got a crush~ Morgan's got a crush~" Alissa snickered while singing at the decidedly '_not-in-the-mood_' warlock. He lowered his hand long enough to glare with gold eyes at the smaller woman and growl. The shorter woman just gave that cheeky I'm-a-bastard-and-I-know-it grin, only now it wasn't _half_ as annoying and the black haired mage had to murder that eerie heat on his face, rage, yes, it was rage… that was it…

"Shove it, stocky," at the sudden flash of anger that passed her cute eyes he sneered deeming that a victory.

The smaller woman growled and glared back, "I may be _shorter_ then you now," she was pointing at his bare chest, "but I am **_NOT_** stocky!"

Sneer turned into a snort, "T'is what you think…" there was that mischief in his eyes, only something about it seemed decidedly off to Alissa now that she was a man, "_Stocky_…"

There was a frustrated feminine yell from the… _shorter_ woman, she was '_this_' close to slapping him again, damn smug Warlock of the Wilds and that damn smug look all over his smug face and…

"Am I missing something," All eyes turned to Shale, the living stone looking at the two in the corner, "Since when was the swamp-witch taller than the paltry-knight," it was pointing, "and since when do they flirt like the painted elf?"

It almost sounded like something fell over in that corner… followed by quick reprisals and threats to turn certain stones into some kind of domestic avian to be served for dinner…

Shale completely ignored the two, and the threats of being turned into a chicken… as much as she loathed to even consider the thought, before turning to Wyn and Stana, "And the elder mage… why does it have some dead animal attached to its face?" oddly Wyn just blinked before laughing outright, "And the Qunari…" the golem narrowed its eyes looking 'her' up and down, "it seems… thinner… I think…" The female Qunari just looked uncomfortable, trying to reign in as much of her former stalwart nature into this… _form_…

"That's what we all want to know," at the stern, lower voice, the living stone turned back to their leader, eyeing It queerly. Usually It was smaller, wearing Its favored armor and large weaponry contradicting its 'mage' nature, yet here it was, in pants and that seemed to be it with an uncovered chest showing off Its normally hidden tattoos and there was… _hair_ on Its chin…

Unconsciously Shale ran a finger under her chin with narrowed glowing eyes on their leader, "Yes, there _IS_ something… _off_ about the lot of you…" the construct's head tilted looking down at the dog cowering and nearly forgotten behind its oddly 'bigger' master, "Suppose this strange occurrence is affecting the little beast… that's why it behaved so… _strangely_…"

Blinking, the first remnants of _'concern_' seemed to enter Terry's eyes as he looked down at his beloved Mabari, "Bal?" he raised a white brow when the dog looked up at him whining with that not-so-fierce and less blocky head. Turning around and crouching the animal lowered 'his' head and ears and whining more as he leaned over and looked between 'his' legs. Straightening up, Terry put a hand on… '_Bel_'s head, giving the poor dog his sympathies. 'She' had been very proud of… 'those'… "Sorry… _girl_," the dog whined again and Terry gave her an apologetic look.

"Aww," it seemed Olga had regained consciousness from thoughts of hot woman-on-woman action, "Big nug was so proud of his stones…"

"Hmm," Zevran, still sitting on the floor looked equally concerned, "Yes, I was very attached to mine too…" she looked down at her now breezier pants, "Suddenly being female doesn't seem as much fun…"

Bel howled as Zevran, Olga, and oddly Stana looked down in lamentation on what they'd… _lost_ suddenly becoming women…

"Uwah! Elf, hold me!" the topless dwarf threw herself at the mildly distraught looking female elf, accepting the stout woman without a word and surprisingly not trying to fondle her magnificent bosom.

Lenard stared, words not finding his voice as he just looked at the two incredulously.

"NOW," all eyes turned to Morgan who looked about ready to shoot someone with a cone-of-cold, "Now they realize the gravity of the situation!" he was growling like a rabid animal and just not caring as several party members took a step back, "Having _JUST_ realized they've 'lost' their male assets in trade for their luridly accepted chest!" a black brow was twitching in barely contained rage. He hadn't complained when the realization struck that 'she' was now a 'he' and no longer had her well-developed assets for garnering power and seducing men! The Warlock couldn't damn well use any of the tricks his mother had taught him **_now_**like _this!_ He gripped his staff tightly, almost splintering the wood not realizing his inherent strength now as a male, and pointed the damn thing at them seething, "T'is _NOW_ time to take this situation seriously and stop all these lascivious games?"

The room was quiet as the party just stared at Morgan. They'd never heard _Morrigan_ snap and yell at anyone that _wasn't _Alistair. They'd never heard _Morrigan_ yell with such vehemence, venom, and overly intentioned brutality, even if it _was_ Alistair. They'd never actually seen _Morrigan_ this openly emotional, angry yes, but still 'emotional', aside from Tess and that was in relation to her whole 'mother' thing. And usually when _Morrigan_ snapped at people it was with quick, _mostly_ harmless, vengeance of an oddly magical and humorous to the rest of them sort…

This… _THIS_ was something completely different and not one of them knew how to handle it…

Olga and Zevran were huddled on the floor, holding each other tightly in legitimate fear of the Warlock as they kept wide eyes on him and his dangerous, dangerous staff pointed their way…

Lenard, standing behind Terry, was shocked like the rest of them but his red brows were lowered in a partial glare as he clinched in his hand a knife he'd taken from the table as an oddly 'protective' urge was welling up his spine…

Bel whined behind her master, feeling without and not sure what to do about the now-male version of his favored 'bitch'… Of course now that '_He_' was the '_bitch_' in the relationship she felt even smaller under the black male's ferocity.

Wyn watched the apostate with aged eyes, one hand on his staff while the other stroked his beard. He'd been mostly silent and watching the others, all the young _children_ weren't 'just' acting strange because of the situation; they were _actually _being affected by it… almost as if… his wizened eyes narrowed on the almost snarling Warlock, the dark mage's actions almost confirming his suspicions.

Stana was confused. 'His' first response was to grab 'his' sword and take the beast down… but now 'he' was a woman… and women didn't fight… so even though one hand was reaching back for her weapon the confliction made her pause, jittery as something welled up in the back of her mind she registered as 'fear' also helped keep her hand from touching the handle of her sword… fear of the wild mage gone even more feral and becoming far more dangerous now that it was 'male', fear of not being able to handle a weapon with this '_different_' body… fear of not being able to fight because 'he' was now a woman…

Shale stared at the mage, the swamp-witch didn't normally snap so easily and over such a trifle thing, but… '_he_', the stone finally settled on the 'differences' of its cohorts, certainly wasn't the same as the 'Swamp-Witch' she knew.

Terry just stared, hard and cold with his arms crossed, almost daring Morgan to pull something. Out of everyone here he had been the calmest about this 'awkward' situation, sure falling in with the others and their antics a few moments, but being 'male' didn't completely change who 'she' was, it just made things 'different'. 'She' felt as if her mind wasn't fully registering the 'differences', wasn't fully registering the 'implications' or the full effects whatever-this-was was having on them… but the moment '_Morgan_' was snapping and threatening the others, and not in some snide-better-then-you manner that _Morrigan_ did, but actual rage… Those cold crystal eyes narrowed on the man in front of him with the staff poised to strike someone one down in a magical fury, his own magic bristling under his tattooed and tanned skin as without even thinking his will 'o wisp poofed into existence along with his mage's aura and miasma…

The warlock growled at the mage in front of him, his magicks activating only seen as a challenge… the grip on his staff tightened as his mind flashed through the possible spells he could use to stop their juggernaut of a leader, even if he was unarmed and without armor the male-elf was formidable because of his stronger magic and-

A calloused hand touched the Warlock's bare shoulder-

The wilds mage's first reaction was to stiffen at the warm touch, then he turned in an instant, taking a step back with molten gold eyes on the woman and growling with his staff a mere inch from her face.

With the warlock's quick turn out of her reach Alissa held up her hands in a defensive position, her light brown eyes hard and locked on the man's almost glowing gold ones, something in them hidden behind all the aggression and feral animosity, something that to the female not-Templar almost looked like 'fear'… her eyes narrowed just the slightest, never turning her gaze or blinking even as the magically charged staff was next to her face, she'd dealt with the '_Witch's_' threats before, knew the feel of 'her' magic, that calm, cool, calculating and _just_ threatening enough to make him squirm feel of it… but this, this was different. Just like the emotion in his eyes was different, the stature of an aggressive animal backed in a corner was different, the downright feral and chaotic feel of _HIS_ magic… she really had no idea what he would do but by the Maker somehow hoped she wasn't pushing her luck too damn far with this… '_Warlock_'…

Using a bravado not used to despite her now shorter stature the strawberry blonde lowered her hands, looking into the feral mage's eyes even more intensely and taking a step forward, the staff lowering just enough to allow the motion only for it to now physically touch right above her heart, "Do it _Warlock_," those gold eyes narrowed just the slightest at the new name, "hit me with all you've got…"

Morgan clinched his teeth, mind going oddly blank as he couldn't pull his eyes away from the threatening little woman in front of her… so much _not_ like the idiot he was used to…

Everyone held their breath, waiting for what would happen. Terry tense and wound like a spring waiting to jump in, Wyn closely observing the interaction while just as prepared to heal whichever one hurt themselves… the rest just waiting…

In an instant Alissa backhanded the staff away from her chest and leapt forward, grabbing the still Warlock's shoulders and taking him to the ground as she glared with vehement anger with strawberry blonde brows furrowed intensely. The next moment had the two on the ground, Morgan oddly placid as he was just staring at the woman on top of him while she kept glaring, not caring or noticing her position of straddling the dark man, "By the Maker what hell is wrong with you!" her fingers dug deeper into the man's shoulders as she shook him as much as her smaller frame would allow, "What the hell makes you think you're the only one angry about this situation!" shake, still no response from the Warlock, "The only one completely insecure about their hard trained abilities now that we're like… _THIS!_" her teeth clinched at her own frustration and even more infuriated at the look the man below her was giving, that stoic long stare what wouldn't stop... without even thinking she cocked one arm back and brought it down as hard as her new smaller muscles would allow…

In the instant that her fist was coming down Terry jumped forward, along with Stana ignoring all the contradiction in her head, Bel stared unsure, Lenard clinched his fist white around the knife, Olga and Zevran stared holding each other tighter, Shale stared blankly, and Wyn narrowed his eyes…

The sound of flesh splintering wood stopped everyone in their tracks…

There was the sound of deep heaving above him and something fell on his face and when the scent of blood reached his nose the Warlock's eyes snapped open…

Alissa was breathing deeply through clinched teeth bared at the stupid man in front of her, ignoring the pain in her fist and prickling in her eyes. He was a coward, for all his talk he'd flinched thinking she'd actually hit him… -_I'm supposed to… aren't I?_- She brushed the thought aside as his eyes snapped open and stared at her. The intensity in the black haired man's gold eyes was… disturbing… Alissa couldn't look at them straight, there was something absent in them from the '_Witch's_' eyes, something 'he' couldn't place, something important…

The indignant woman pulled her bloody fist out of the floor next to the dark man's head, the sight of crimson mixed with the coppery smell jerked Morgan's eyes to the appendage.

Alissa growled as his gold eye stayed on her hand as she brought it to her chest and made to move off him. "Idiot…" slipped out of her lips before she could move and for a second a weird sense of Déjà vu hit them both, only it was reversed…

Morgan growled in his throat, narrowing his black brows on the woman's eyes that weren't looking at him, something about that bothering him. His eyes trailed down to her hand and as he felt her weight shift to move off him he did the first thing that came to mind, he grabbed her bloody hand, eliciting a delightful grunt of pain from the woman, while sitting up and staring at it…

"Hey-" the strawberry blonde growled as she fell back on her own legs from his shift.

"Shut up," he bit out in a growl looking over her hand, after a moment of intense examination he summoned the magic he hated so much causing his hand to glow and placed it over the bloody knuckles, keeping his eyes purposely on the flesh mending itself and not on the woman scowling at him so cutely.

Everyone else released a breath they didn't know they were holding…

Terry put a hand through his short white hair, "I swear… this job gets worse every damn day…"

Lenard struck the knife in his hand hard into the table leaving it sticking up straight as he dropped his large frame into the waiting chair, "That was a bit too intense, no?"

Zevran sighed deeply, patting Olga on the back as the woman was crying for some damn reason, "Just a small bit I think…"

"Tess…" the male elf turned to the speaker, seeing 'Wyn', giving the now-male circle mage a hard glare to which he rose a wizened brow, "'Terry' then," there was a smirk under the old man beard that just caused 'Terry' to glower at, "I think we have much to discuss," the elder mage tilted his head towards the silently glaring at each other pair on the floor as the Warlock healed the not-Templar's hand, "Not just the obvious physical state of our… change," a white brow rose on their leader, "But also the obvious… _'other_' problems it may have on us…"

The now-male Warden's eyes narrowed skeptically, turning from the elder mage towards the two growling at each other, before turning around and looking at the worn out way the others were feeling and glancing back at the other mage finally releasing his spells, "I think we do…" and he stepped towards the table Lenard now occupied, walking around it and taking the chair furthest in the back, sitting down roughly with his elbows on the hard wood and tenting his fingers seriously in front of him. Several thoughts were running through his head, many of them on what the hell just happened and more importantly 'why'.

"Hmp," Shale shook her head, turning from the fleshy whiney creatures that had to always make such a scene. Shooing the dog away from her as it got up out of the construct's stomping legs and took up a spot on the wall next to their leader, "At least someone still has some sense despite this madness…"

Blue eyes glared across at the stone under red brows, "Hmp, you didn't even notice the difference…" he narrowed his eyes and absently moved a hand towards the knife now impaled in the table-top, "Only that some of us were '_taller_'…"

The Viking glared while the stone looked bored…

"Quiet," Terry's gruff voice called out to the two, not looking at either as his cold eyes were on the approaching mage and Qunari, "Both of you…"

The red head glared at their leader, crossing his arms over his broad chest with a scowl.

"Yes, you're highness," Shale made a gravelly sound similar to a snort.

Wyn sat down across from their leader while Stana stood to the side looking down at the two sitting on the floor closest, the elf and dwarf. The female Qunari gave a disapproving growl but didn't say anything.

At the sound Zevran looked up, still patting the back of the female dwarf curled up in her lap, now asleep, "Yes my scrumptiously female friend?" the golden elf gave that familiar _saucy_ grin, even if it was slightly more dangerous in female form.

Stana's violet eyes just narrowed, "You haven't changed much, Elf…"

She grinned, "Neither have you my friend," at the uncomfortable way the Qunari looked that smile just widened, "Neither have you…"

Stana turned away, deciding to join the discussion at the table with their leader, elder mage, now larger rogue and Shale.

"I take it you noticed something, Wyn?" the white haired elf said sternly, his cold eyes direct and far more serious than Tess' ever were.

If the older mage was disturbed by the look he didn't show it, only nodding curtly while running a hand through his beard, "Yes, that display," he tilted his head towards the 'other' two on the floor at the other end of the room, "Only helped prove my concerns…"

"And they are?" crystal eyes narrowed.

Grey eyes stared flatly at the younger mage, "That," he pointed at the male-elf, "For instance," at the piqued white brow and curious looks from the others he continued, "Tess was 'strange' but never impatient," a smirk rose under his beard, "_Terry_ seems to not have time for most things apparently…"

There was a small growl from across the table.

"And you," the older mage turned towards the red head.

"Lenard," he said a bit more politely if still rather clipped.

"Lenard?" the old mage nodded, stroking his beard, "Right, Lenard here is much more reserved, embarrasses easily in fact," those smirking eyes landed on the blushing red head, "See," there was a chuckle in his voice, "Leliana never got flustered so easily, or at least hid it much better…" the Viking looked down at the table. Wyn's eyes landed on the knife half buried in the table, "He also seems more aggressive, if not ready to protect, but nowhere near as cautious as your 'other' self…"

Their leader's eyes watched the mage across from him, then turned to Stana still standing next to him, noticing as the older mage was following his gaze.

"Our dear… Stana," violet eyes zeroed in on the older mage, "You're… hesitant…"

"Conflicted," Terry corrected, noticing that look in the taller woman's eyes, "'Women do not fight' right?"

There was that familiar if slightly higher pitched growl from the Qunari, "Yes…" her eyes narrowed as she looked at nothing, it was the closest to 'pained' Terry assumed she was going to allow be shown, "I have been a warrior my whole life, it is what I am," she looked down glaring at her now developed feminine chest, "This… is not what I am…" she looked at their leader, as close to pleading as he'd ever seen 'her', "Warden?"

His jaw clinched as white brows furrowed. There was just something so... _wrong_ with the look in the Qunari's eyes, he guessed this must have been how 'she' looked when 'he'd' told 'her' she wasn't a woman. –_Now this…_- the male elf sighed, "Alright, so we aren't '_quite_' ourselves," he looked directly at Wyn, trying to push down the impatient urge to throttle the old man if he didn't explain quicker, "How did this happen, and more importantly," she looked around the table, noticing between Lenard and Wyn how Alissa was looking their way as Morgan continued working on her hand half paying attention to them as well. He was also sure Zevran and Olga were listening in their little corner on the floor. When his crystal eyes landed back on the older mage he was steeled and the old mage raised a brow surprised to see that 'Tess' wasn't completely gone, "How do we fix this?"

The group was silent, each trying to figure out answers to the questions their now-male leader posed…

How did this happen? How do they fix it? Even a few of them bordered on the unspoken question flitting through all their minds… did they _want_ to?

Stana looked down uncomfortably at nothing in particular…

Lenard glanced sideways at Zevran on the floor patting Olga on the back as the female elf looked at nothing, for a moment her pointed ear twitched and she glanced to the side, noticing the near-giant red-haired human-man just looking her way…

Wyn closed his eyes deep in thought…

Terry furrowed white eyebrows, looking at the table top over tented fingers, only to glance up at the other two on the other side of the room… his cold eyes were placid as he and Alissa shared a look, as Wardens this new 'form' could be advantageous to them, they could slip away, unnoticed, since they weren't the '_right'_ gender, 'she' could avoid being made 'King', 'He' could avoid his life all together and just disappear…

The white haired elf looked away clinching his teeth and fingers…

Alissa looked down as well in thought, the 'unspoken' thought flitting through her mind. Out of some strange reason even she didn't know she glanced at the dark mage inspecting her hand. '_He_' seemed to be the only one not bothering with deep contemplation, the only one that didn't seem concerned one way or the other about their new predicament at the moment… her eyebrows furrowed, she wanted to be angry with him, she was _supposed_ to be angry at him for all he did earlier…

"Tch," light brown eyes looked vehemently away from the black haired warlock, knowing that her anger and assumptions were completely wrong… the way he'd acted, the look in his eyes, both when she told him to fire and after she almost punched him… -_Idiot…_- strawberry blonde eyebrows lowered, "I don't get you at all…"

"That would make two of us," he said lowly, gold eyes placid as he looked solely at the woman's calloused hands. Alissa turned back to look 'down' on him, scowling like she knew she was supposed to be, only to be oddly curious about what he was doing. Morgan was looking at her hand, knuckle up, holding it between both hands as it no longer required healing. His larger, less rough hands held the now smaller thing delicately, thumbs rubbing over the new skin on her knuckles almost… _tenderly_… as the rest of his fingers moved along the calloused underside, spreading the individual digits almost… _curious_…

"You have very manly hands…" the Warlock spoke, completely derailing whatever 'intrigue' had been going on.

Alissa just glared flatly at the man, swiftly removing her hand from his, ignoring what sounded like a disapproving grunt when she did so, "Thank you for that _brilliant_ observation," the not-Templar quickly tucked away her hands under her arms while crossing them over her covered chest.

The Warlock's golden eyes followed the objects of his inquiry and released a very displeased sound when they became hidden, "T'was meant as a compliment…" The woman next to him could have sworn he snorted like the Mabari when he was unhappy…

There was a snort from strawberry blonde as she grumbled something to herself, rolling her eyes and looking anywhere that wasn't the black '_dog_' next to her. She rolled her eyes when she could just _feel_ those gold orbs just glaring at her, "didn't we discuss this, I'm a '_woman_' now," so adorable with air-quotes, "_Women_ don't have 'manly' hands…"

"Some women do," he grunted, still looking intently at her, it wasn't '_angry_' and it certainly wasn't '_comfortable_', like anything from '_Him_' could be considered comforting… it was just… _unsettling_… "T'was meant as a compliment…" the warlock repeated, looking away with another grumble, saying low as if she weren't supposed to hear, "Thought you'd want to hear that…"

Lowering her 'air-quotes' the strawberry blonde looked at the… '_sulking_' warlock out of the corner of her eye with a raised brow, only one thought running through her head. –_Is he serious?_- and the female not-quite-Templar didn't know which way she wanted to interpret that…

"Ugh," a tan and tattooed fist slammed on the table garnering mostly everyone's attention, "I can't think of anything '_strange_' that happened yesterday!" he really should have used air-quotes, would have made their _stressed_ leader seem less angsty and more 'stupidly adorable' like '_She_' normally was. With another masculine growl of frustration he slammed his forehead flat on the table, apparently giving up on 'thinking'… a rather '_Tess_' thing to do.

_Certain_ party members snorted at their bi-polar leader…

"Hmm," Lenard leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his bare chest while looking at the ceiling with an obvious pout on his lips, "He's right, it was a 'normal' day," still no air-quotes, he raised a red brow, "walking along the road here, killed some dark spawn, ran into that weird peddler, got attacked by some nut-job with a mace, turned him in for a reward, then stopped by here to spend the night…" blue eyes blinked before the viking-esque man shrugged his large broad shoulders, "Pretty normal…"

Terry raised his head enough to sit on his stubbly chin and look flatly across him at the red Viking, "What'd we turn that guy in for again?"

Another shrug from the near-giant, "Some theft I think…"

Crystal eyes stared flatly as an ear twitched, "I meant 'pay' wise, what'd we get?" the pointy eared man tilted his head on the table, looking remarkably bored, "'Cause I'm drawing a blank on that whole affair…"

The red man snorted, "That's because Zevran and I turned him in, you were unconscious," at the raised white brow the large man sighed deeply with a growl, reminiscent of '_Sten_', "he knocked your helmet off with his mace and clocked you right in the face…"

Ear twitch, "Oh yea…" blink, "That's probably why I'm mostly drawing a blank from yesterday…"

"Probably," Lenard said flatly, rubbing his scratchy chin, "Though he did sock me pretty good with the damn thing too while we were handing him over…"

"Oh I remember that," all eyes at the table turned to the gold elf on the floor with the passed out dwarf in her lap. She was a smiling innocently as she raised one arm and pointed at her ear, "man was a feisty thing, nicked my ear with that piece of his…"

"Hmm," eyes shifted to Wyn as he stroked his old man beard in thought, "He ran right past me while I was tending to you," grey eyes came down to look at the younger mage as the old man raised a hand scratched his left shoulder, "Scraped me with the thing as he was fleeing," at the raised brows looking at him the old man chuckled, "I remember because they ate through my robes nicking skin so I spent most of the night patching them up," he turned in his chair showing the neat sticking in the women's clothing.

"hmm," a white brow rose, "that's… weird," Terry narrowed his eyes, "We don't _normally_ get random consistent injuries by one man with a mace?" the male elf's eyes traveled to Stana standing close to his right, "Stana…" there was an immediate growl causing the male elf to grin apologetically, "Did you get hit by this guy?"

There was that higher pitched dismissive growl as the exotic woman looked down at their leader, "He attacked us while we were setting up camp, and I had not had the chance to fully put on my armor…" absentmindedly she raised her right hand and rubbed along her left arm, presumably where the guy had hit '_him_'…

"Hmm…" a white brow was cocked on the elf-mage's face as he looked up at the white haired woman before looking down in the direction the gold elf was, "Zevran!"

"Yeeess _Mio Beau_!" the woman cheerily responded from the floor.

There was a _slight_ growl from the stubbly white haired elf as he glared in that general vicinity, "Did Oghren get hit by this guy too?"

There was a chuckle from the floor, "Don't you remember?" a white brow rose but since Zevran was on the floor and Terry was sitting with his head on the table he certainly didn't see it, that didn't stop her from continuing anyway with a laugh, "It was hilarious! Our stout friend got tripped by the mysterious man who dove for the ground, throwing his mace out every which way and getting our little friend behind the knee…"

There was a snort from across the table and all eyes turned to Lenard, "What?" the red-head blinked with a snort, "It was funny… since he's so short Zevran and I had joked about him being '_un-trip-able_'," at the end of his comment the blue-eyed near-giant chuckled with more fervor ignoring the others looks.

"Hmm…" crystal colored eyes looked at the ceiling a moment as the male elf completely ignored the chuckling, "and if Bel fought him, 'he' has no armor so any scratches would be immediately on flesh," as if to answer his ponderings the female Mabari barked underneath the table before nudging and licking her master's hand which was responded with a scratch on the muzzle. Those ice colored eyes glanced to the stoic golem, looking up at the construct obviously, "Shale, did you get hit by this guy?"

"Like it would have done anything," the living stone snorted in that gravelly way as she put her hands on her hips _almost_ offended, "But no, I didn't engage the crazy midget squishy," those crystal covered arms came up to cross over the construct's chest as a smirk made its way across the golem's glowing face, "I was having too much of a good laugh watching the man crack Its skull open before hurling the rock that finally knocked him out..." this statement was followed by a private chuckle only the golem participated in.

A tan pointed ear twitched, "so glad to amuse you," his eyes shifted around the table, well that coinsided with everyone so far, his eyes landed on the scowling pair at the other end of the room, "Alissa…" the strawberry blonde perked up while the black haired warlock next to her seemed to glare gold eyes in their direction, "You hear any of that?"

The female not-Templar _almost_ wanted to snort and question the 'man's' intelligence… realizing how much that was like '_Morrigan_' she kept her opinion's to herself…

That didn't stop Morgan, "We're only across the room," the man growled loud enough that everyone could hear it easily as his gold eyes pierced into their leader, "Think we're deaf along with this '_affliction_'?"

Terry raised his head off the table and glared icy slits at the growling warlock, "I never said anything of the sort," the male elf nearly growled himself keeping his own threatening glare on the whelp, "though it's usually a common courtesy to not eavesdrop so flippantly…"

Morgan bared his teeth at the 'little' man, shifting on his knees and placing one hand on the ground as if to push off after him while the other was cocked back already gathering magic…

Terry immediately kicked back his chair which bounced off the back wall as he stood up, shoulders tense with his hands on the table, magicks flaring under his exposed skin as he kept his icy glare on the man…

"Oh grow up!" the tense atmosphere was completely destroyed as Alissa put her hand on the back of the black warlock's head and forced his forehead to meet floor. She growled at him herself, light brown eyes fierce with her eyebrows dangerously furrowed, "He wasn't even talking to you, no reason to get so bent out of shape for nothing…" it was eerie how calm and flat her voice was despite the rough growl in it…

A faint growl could be heard as Morgan had both hands on the ground beside his head and tried shifting to glare at the woman. He managed enough movement that one gold eye flashed hers, both staring a moment before she grew tired of him and looked back at their leader, still not removing her hand and perhaps adding a bit of Templar charm to it to stop him from pulling a cone-of-cold on her ass...

"Yes," the not-Templar said politely, hand still in place and completely ignoring it, "_We_," she didn't even turn as the rest of the group looked at the… _incapacitated_ Warlock of the Wilds growled like a wild animal from his held position on the floor, "also had our run in with the little wild man," no one missed the disgruntled snort from the 'wilds man' almost as if he were offend their attacker was placed in the _near_ same category as him. Alissa completely ignored him, "He got me on my arm while getting _Morrigan_ on the face when she was all giant-spidery…"

Everyone just stared.

"What?" the strawberry blonde said calmly as if nothing was wrong with this situation.

Terry had his mouth open, one eye half open as he and the rest just stared, "I'm not the only one seeing this right?" vacantly one hand raised from the table to point at the not-Templar _single-handedly_ subduing a 'Warlock' of the wilds.

"I thought it was part of the… _instability_ this thing was causing," Zevran blinked, quite surprised and noth sure what to think either. Sure, 'he', like the rest of them, **_loved_** to joke and instigate 'problems' between those two just because it was funny… but never before had their arguments gotten physical… and **_NEVER_** had the 'witch' so obviously _lost_ to the 'not-Templar', "Someone hold me…" her free hand reached out to grab the greave around Stana's leg.

Bel whined.

Lenard just stared, blinking several times to make sure that it was still there in front of him…

"Hmm," Wyn rubbed his old man beard, "Guess that proves my thoughts on the oddities of our altered behaviors…"

"Oh is this a new game?" the stunned crowd looked to Shale, an odd delight in her glowing eyes, "Subdue the mages, yes?" the golem was grinning to much as she turned to look at the table, contain the two _other_ mages looking at the construct flatly. She pouted, "Spoilsports…"

Apparently enough comments had been made as Morgan finally, willingly, shrugged off Alissa's hand and sat up straight, givng the smaller woman a glare truly worthy of the 'Witch' of the Wilds, even if the witty come-back was replaced with stalwart growling…

Alissa lowered her hand, completely unfazed as she looked at him with half-open barely suspicious eyes; in fact they were more chiding of his previous behavior then legitimately angry at him.

There was a heavy sigh as their leader put a hand over his eyes, "Can we get over this already?"

"Gladly," Lenard spoke under his breath in a huff, scowling at the two across the room, namely the dark, dangerous, and temperamental warlock seated decidedly too close to adorable Alissa.

"So you think this man and his mace may have something to do with _this_?" the old mage looked at the younger circle mage, completely ignoring the other two, apparently being the only one to retain some semblance of _'normalcy_' out of the group.

The white haired elf grabbed his thrown chair and sat himself in it, leaning his head on one hand, "Seems like the only 'odd' thing about yesterday," he gave a dismissive shrug before sighing, "and seems like as good a place to start as any…"

There was a derisive grunt above them, the table-goers glancing at the female Qunari, "The sooner we correct this, the better…"

"Aye!" all eyes shifted to the dwarf who'd decided to return to the land of the conscious, "sounds good to me, missing my lads already!"

There was a round of grumbling and heads tucked away in hands…

"Um…" various eyes turned to the female not-Templar, "Question," she raised her hand and said flatly, "Since this is all settled and all, there's something I thought I'd asked…" the strawberry blonde shifted uncomfortably causing various eyebrows to raise, "About going to the bathroom as a… _woman_…?" said _woman_ tried very hard to keep a straight face as _certain_ parties, that shall not be named, namely a _certain_ Viking and male elf, started smirking and failing miserably to hide their snorts…

Stana looked uncomfortable… as much as a Qunari can look uncomfortable…

Wyn sighed, "Well, it is a valid question…" not bothering to hide his smirk in his beard…

Zevran was biting her lip, eyes so lit up with grievous joy at the prospect of… _something_…

"What're you talking about, pike-twirler?" Olga had hopped up out of the female-elf's lap and was standing, lower then the table, with her hands on her hips like this was all completely normal, "Ya just… ya know… and that…"

"Not the biggest expert on female anatomy I take it?" Wyn was _definitely_ smirking something evil as his grey eyes traveled to the topless dwarf…

"Ana-what?" a red brow cocked at the older human, "Lookit old man, I got more experience with wymin then you got with them pansies that tower of yers…"

"You were married weren't you?" a white brow cocked on their leader questionably.

The little red-head cocked her head to the side, knuckles still on hips as if to be imposing, "Ya, so?"

"I suddenly weep for all the women you've bedded," Wyn said sardonically while Lenard and Terry giggled to themselves.

"Pfft… women," the dwarf snorted.

There was suddenly a squeak from the forgotten corner where the not-Templar who'd asked the question was as red as Lenard and Olga's hair while a smirking dark warlock was leaning over with hand cupping her ear and hiding his lips as he spoke _something_ into the woman's ear. The light of mischief in those gold eyes was _not_ lost on anyone, so it was no surprise when Alissa, red-faced and gapping, turned to look at his smug face with a raised black brow, then openly slapping him again before turning away looking utterly embarrassed and adamantly holding her hands over her chest…

Morgan sat back with a pleased smirk on his face as one hand absentmindedly rubbed the red mark the slap left…

There was an audible groan from their leader as Bel wagged her stubby tail next to her master.

"Aww," Zevren whined cutely, "I suppose that solves that matter…"

"Ugh, yea…" Olga looked on queerly before turning back to the table of now-men with a winning grin, "So I guess I'll be needing ta teach you 'boys' how to use yer equipment, eh?"

The three men at the table stared down at the little woman flatly for all of five seconds before busting out laughing with no remorse.

Stana met hand to face, wanting to be _away_ from this conversation as quickly as possible…

"What?" the dwarf asked indignantly, glaring at the three with her sapphire eyes, "Sumtin' you all know I don't?"

Quieting their snorting just enough to speak the three gave each other conspiring looks, before Lenard, with a big grin, looked down at the woman and said plainly, "Um, we're _women_!" as if that answered everything.

"So?" the little red-head was still looking at them queerly, "Ain't wymin now, so what's yer point?"

A few more snorts, Wyn had to forcibly put his hand over his mouth to stop whatever was trying to leave the old man's lips.

Terry on the other hand had absolutely **_no_** qualms with saying what was on his mind, Zevran glanced up just in time to see _that_ smirk reminiscent of the woman he knew so well, "Trust us 'Olga'," snort from Lenard as the white-haired elf's eyes grew sinisterly mischievous, "As _former_-women, we know _all about_ handling a man's… _equipment_," that did it the three of them just gave up trying to hide and were howling with laughter.

Olga's face started turning red with anger, wasn't no way she was gonna be upstaged by a buncha surfacer brats…

"Dear friend," a _suave_ female voice from the corner spoke and the dwarf turned to look at Zevran, "trust me when I say he _definitely _knows what he's doing," the giddy smirk on the golden woman's face left nothing to the imagination what she was thinking about.

"I heard that!" Terry stopped long enough to send the female elf a _small_ glare.

"So glad you did, _Mio Beau_," Zevran grinned innocently.

On the other side of the room, Alissa, still red faced, glanced at Morgan warily, scooting just a bit more _away_ from _him_.

The black haired warlock just scowled facing ahead, absently rubbing the tender spot on his face, not knowing how many more 'slaps' he could handle before deciding to _really_ retaliate on the small, stocky woman that had perpetrated them… his gold eyes glared ahead, "The sooner we're done with this, the better…"

* * *

**A/N:** i would think a 'quest' involving gender-bending your character and party would be hilarious, i mean its easy for the 'Warden' since everyone just calls them 'Warden' so wouldn't have to worry about name-changing and it'd just have to relatively work off the build you make for them originally and some crazy algorithm... i think it would be a rather successful DLC :D

i know i'd buy it... XD

so yes, here you go 09, and sorry i cut... short? hmm... plot-hook established i guess... and by the god hilarity will ensue! -shakes fist-

as for the names...

like i said 'Morgan' and 'Alissa' were taken from KylaBosch's story, and i think they were actually taken from the original piccy, so that's none of mine :P

'Wyn' is a male name derived from the welsh gwyn, meaning "Blessed, white, fair", 'he' looks primarily like Gandolf and/or the captain-commander from BLEACH... with old-man-beard-rubbing derived from bad Chinese kung-fu movies :3

'Stana' is the female version of the slavic name 'Stan' which means 'Stand', closest female thing i could figure to 'Sten' :P and yea, she's sexy like that... can't wait to make her bake cookies XD

'Olga' is the russian version of 'Helga' which german and is the female version of 'Helge' which is derived from old norse meaning 'holy, blessed'... guess that goes for the 'bosom', cause i really just picked it because it was close to 'Oghren' XD

'Lenard' is the english version of the old germanic 'Leonard' meaning 'brave lion'... -snorts- i really just randomly picked it as something to counter-act 'Leliana' which is 'supposed' to sound french, since Orlisians are soooo french people, the fact that its a variant of 'old germanic' actually makes me giggle, since if you know your history you know that the land of gaul, ruled by germanic tribes before romans took over, is what became france :D don't you love irony and history... course this makes more 'sense', or adds more 'sense' to my making Lenny a big wiking-esque guy since the german barbarians were compared to vikings... i love irony!

'Bel' comes as a common shorthand for various female names, but more importantly 'Balthezar' what i name my dog, is derived from hebrew as one of the wisemen that visited jesus when he was born, and the more 'proper' spelling of it is 'Bel Shazzar' but no body spells it that way... so 'Bel' :3

there is no context where 'Zevran' comes from, like 'Leliana' it was derived to sound like the lands they come from, Antiva and Orlais which are 'like' Spain and France... but since i didn't bother changing it, since Zevran's just like that, no reason to explain... though there was an honorable mention, 'Zephyrine' a rare french woman's name that if i'm pronouncing it properly practically sounds the same as 'Zevran', who knows i might have someone call her 'Zephy' just for the hell of it XD

and finally 'Terry', 'Terry' is a shorthand for 'Theodore' which is the male version of 'Theresa' which APPARENTLY 'Tess' is one of the fifty-billion shorthands for... i didn't know that... and it was the only thing that sounded appropriate by comparison :3 and 'Theresa' comes from a LONG line of derivation all the way back to a greek word meaning either 'summer' or 'to harvest' .-.

all courtesy of behindthename(dot)com :3

i think if i have a daughter, i'm naming her 'Zephyrine' XD and just for this...

again, thanks to 09 for putting up with my maddness... and tempting you... now where's my cookies :3

as for the rest of you, comments, questions, opposing views or insteresting stories? XD (review :3)

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, mina!

-Ikasury

**Edit:** Question, to those that read this, should i take this away from 'smite' and delve into it and make a story all its own, or leave it here in my drabble pile?


	3. Part 3 or Senomroh!

**A/N:** hehehe... so i'm on vacation :P and its the middle of the night and hubs' asleep looking all cute... why the hell'am writing/posting this instead of sleeping? who knows! :D i know 09's going to be mad at me, since this wasn't my 'original' idea for this chap but somehow my little 'sum up' paragraph in that original draft developed into its own :P and the end seemed appropriate... women can't win all the time XD

hope this makes up for some of my insanity ^.^

ENJOY!

* * *

Continuing…

After the ensuing chaos brought about by oddly sexist jokes, comments and other such mannerisms the group had _finally_ decided it was a good idea to get on with this plan of theirs…

"Alright, the lot of you get out of my room," Terry said flatly sitting his head on his hand with his elbow on the table, looking out at the group with bored crystal colored eyes. There were mild grunts and groans as his immediately response, a white brow twitched, "Seriously, we need to go find this little crazy man and figure out what the hell he did…" pointed glaring ensued.

"Fine, fine," Shale was the first to move and seemingly the only one taking this situation _mildly_ serious.

"Hey! I need a shirt!" Olga shouted from the floor making it towards the door with Zevran not far behind. The little red head looked down; hands still fisting jubblies, "As much as I like watchin' these move, I don't think I need anyone else staring."

A _delicate_ hand came down on the smaller woman's shoulder, "I think I have a few that can fit," there was nothing _devious _about the way the now-female elf led the now-female dwarf out the door and towards _her_ room, not at all.

Terry's eyes followed the two, narrowing with a heavy pout, before shouting, "ZEVRAN!"

A golden head popped back in, "Yeeeessss~" that was seriously way too cute, the woman was deadly, Lenard was huddled over the table with one hand over his red face trying to remember that that was a '_man_'.

Terry didn't seem to pay the choking Viking any mind, "I need a shirt…"

"_Com-ming~"_ the little gold minx slipped back out the door with a taunting wave of her hand the last thing seen.

There was a deliberate cough in front of the stoic male elf, "I, ah, need to go find something to wear as well," the red-head flicked his shirtless chest looking at their leader's skeptical look. Lenard coughed again, baby-blues glancing to the side and spotting Stana on her way out, there was _not_ a lecherous grin on his face, "And I think I know who to ask…"

Terry blinked, unconvinced.

The red haired Viking got up, pulling the knife out of the table and absently twirling it in his hand as he chased after the tall female-Qunari. He got to the door before Terry's voice caught him.

"You're not thinking of doing anything _unseemly_, right?" the flat voice and narrowed unconvinced crystal eyes were enough to make the bard gulp.

Lenard turned to face their leader, raised his hand and opened his mouth as if to say something… before slipping out the door and fumbling since his new size messed up his stealth abilities.

Wyn shook his head, chuckling mildly under his beard. He caught the white brow aimed at him from their leader, "Something wrong, Tess?"

"Terry," was the tan and tattooed elf's immediate response, closing his eyes in a huff, "But yes," he leaned back in the chair crossing his arms, looking down at the table, "although I'm not sure how to say it…"

The older mage grinned lightly under his old man beard, heading towards the door while looking around the room, noticing the last two members of their party had slipped out when no one was paying attention. He chuckled to himself, glancing at their leader while grabbing the handle of the door, "When you know the question, don't be afraid to ask."

There was a grunt from the male elf as he absently pet his now female Mabari.

Wyn closed the door behind him and turned into the chaos that had become the outer hall of their conjoined rooms.

"WOMAN! _THIS_ IS **NOT** A SHIRT!" came from one room at the end of the hall and sounded like Olga's rough if higher voice.

"In Antiva it is! The finest whores wore that to attract the best customers," there was only _one_ person that would think that was a 'good' thing.

"I'm NOT a whore!" slight pause and shuffling, "… though it does give a nice view of the rack and ass…"

Was that a squeal? "I have other things to show, my friend!"

A commotion from the left caught the old man's attention as Alissa came barreling out a door almost breaking it while fighting off something caught on her face.

"GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF!" The female Templar was screaming at what seemed the highest pitch her now-female voice could produce while rushing past the old mage with something 'purple' wrapped around her neck and face. She ended up running across the hall into another room and the loud **_BANG!_** That followed with a masculine laugh accompanying it must have meant she ran into something.

The door on the left flung open again and a gruff male voice accompanied it, "Just put it on right! T'is better than that ratty shirt!" Wyn came face to face with the 'Warlock' of the wilds. He growled and looking flustered once he noticed someone was looking his way. The embarrassment quickly ebbed and with a growl the scowl was back in place, "What're you looking at old man!"

Before Wyn could so much as respond the Warlock quickly turned and slammed the door shut.

The old man blinked, rubbing his old man beard, feeling suddenly nostalgic about walking through the apprentice quarters back at the Tower. Taking his eyes off that door, the mage managed **_one_** step before Alissa came flying out of the other room, _still_ apparently in a horrid fight with whatever Morgan presumably threw at her. The circle mage just stood there staring, the entire ten seconds it took the not-quite-Templar woman to finally untangle the '_thing_' from around her throat.

Alissa stood up breathing deep, face redder then Wyn had seen in some while, before the little strawberry blonde turned to the older mage and realize he'd been standing there watching the whole time. It was interesting to watch the different shades of red she could invent, really. With an uncomfortable twitch the young woman looked at the mage, the '_garment_' in her hand, the mage, the garment, and back a few times just turning redder and redder each time.

"Alis-" was as far as the concerned old man got before she flung something purple at him.

"GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" as soon as the '_thing_' was no longer in her grasp the smaller woman bolted towards the room on the left, and Wyn wondered if she realized that was the same room Morgan was currently occupying. The ensuing muffled shouts and sounds of things '**_bang!_**'ing told him she'd figured it out. When wisps of magic started getting involved Wyn truly started to wonder if those two were '_okay_'.

Ignoring the escalating fight, the old man looked down at the garment forced upon him. Holding it out at arm's length and opening it to fully see what it was, the elder mage couldn't help but chuckle. It was _Morrigan's_ throw-around top, the small slip of purple fabric that covered her 'modesty', even if both Tess and Alistair claimed she didn't have any, and had that hood she never brought up. Then entire garment was nothing but a tribute to frivolous nature and for a short moment the elder circle mage wondered if the 'woman' knew that when she wore it, her mockery of '_civilized_' society. The old man continued chuckling as he lowered the throw-around…

… Only to see Lenard standing on the other side with sparkles in his eyes and a devious grin.

A wizen brow rose and before he could so much as word his question the bard opened his mouth…

"Is _that_," he pointed at Morrigan's throw-around with a widening grin, "What I think it is?"

Wizen brow still raised the older mage just stared at the bard, "Yes, I do believe it is _Morrigan's_ top…"

There was a decidedly un-masculine squeal from the large bard, "Can I have it!" the grin on the red-head's face tripled in size as mischief littered his eyes, something so _Leliana_ in that look it wasn't even funny, "I have an idea!"

Wyn just stared at the bard, holding the garment in one hand and about the reprimand the young man for his thoughts of mischief…

That is until the left door opened, Morgan stepped out, walked up to the two men, glared at the Viking before snatching '_his_' shirt and turning back and closing the door behind him.

The two men blinked, staring at the door for a moment.

"Isn't Alissa in there?" Lenard asked extremely confused.

The old man closed his eyes and shook his head, sensing the magical battle of the century behind that door and waiting for the eventual escalation.

There was an angry female scream from behind the door as it burst open and Morgan went flying out it, between the two standing in the hall, through the open door to their right, hitting the bed and flipping over it and finally landing on the other side out of their sight. The only thing they heard was a growl to confirm he was still alive.

Lenard turned back to the elder mage about to comment…

**_SLAM!_**

… When the door behind Wyn opened.

A strange silence followed and Lenard looked like he flinched.

Wyn just sighed, such drama.

"By Andraste's flaming knickers!" the male elf stood imposing in the doorway, still topless, shouted with an obvious twitch in his left eye, "What the hell am I hearing and where the hell is my shirt!"

There was a groan from the room to their right.

Zevran peeked out, blinked at the male elf having seemingly not heard a thing of the earlier commotion, and twitched one of her ears, "I'm looking for the right one!" the grin on her devious little lips widened as she held out two shirts, "Which would you prefer? The leather sleeveless belly-top or the leather studded cross with the bandoleer?"

There was a **_very_** loud **_smack!_** As Terry's hand met face.

Lenard's hands went to the front of his uncomfortably tight pants trying to remove both ideas from his mind. "Leather… tight… urhgh…" the Viking bard quickly exited to the second room on the right.

Wyn just raised a brow, trying _very_ hard not to smirk knowingly at the young ones.

The door on the left opened, and out stepped Alissa wearing her ill-fitting breastplate over her chest with ruffles of a decidedly _too big_ shirt sticking out the sides and bottom. The young female Templar had a scowl on her face that could put Morrigan's to shame as she stepped out closing the door with her satchel on her back and another bag with feathers on it in her other hand. Her light brown eyes spotted their flatly glaring leader and she just sighed deeply with a mild grown, shuffling her bag over so she could grab something out of it before throwing something tan at the white-haired elf, "Here," the scowl downgraded to an unhappy pout as she glanced around, noticing Zevran's 'shirts', "Why am I not surprised…"

The little golden elf didn't seem put off at all, "Come on~" her voice gaining a sing-song tone as she waved the black belly-top, "I bet you'd look great in _this_~"

Alissa's pout dropped as she blushed uncomfortably at the idea of being anywhere _near_ anything the Antivan elf considered 'acceptable' clothing.

There was a grunt that disrupted any further comments as everyone turned to see their leader fighting to get the dirty shirt on. Once his white-head popped out of the right hole, Terry breathed a deep sigh of relief before slipping his arms through the holes and looking down at the shirt, noting the stains. He pointed glared at the thing before grabbing the hem and bringing it to his nose sniffing, immediately taking it away with a disgusted look on his face, "Ugh! Do you even wash your clothes?"

Alissa's pouting glare was back and on their leader.

"Mmm, yes," all eyes turned to Zevran who was intently watching their leader holding his 'new' shirt halfway up, "Just a little bit slower…"

Terry glared at the little golden elf.

This just happened to be the moment Lenard walked back out of his room, noticed Zevran's lurid intent gaze and followed it spotting their leader halfway taking off a shirt. The red-head groaned loudly as he put a hand over his eyes and turned back around and closed the door.

Wyn chuckled at all of their antics.

Hulking shaky steps came up the stairs and Shale looked around at the lot of squishies just staring at her. Glowing eyes glared flatly, "Is It and you lot done yet?" hands went to gravelly hips, "I'd like to leave some time this _day_!"

The upstairs was quiet as the gathered people just stared at the golem.

Terry raised his hand and opened his mouth as if to say something…

"WARDEN!" that is until everyone heard a shrill shout reminiscent of a certain now-female dwarf. In the next moment a red blur hopped out from around Zevran and stopped in the middle of the hall, hands up and posing while sporting some form of lacy, mostly see-through, corset that sat _just_ too low to be indecent, "Does this make me look fat?"

The second left door opened a second before closing in a loud slam.

Most everyone else just stared as Terry put his hand over his eyes, "Olga… go put a shirt on…"

The little red-head grinned cheekily and posed surprisingly well, "But-"

"NOW!" by the time the white haired elf removed his hand the little stripper-dwarf was thankfully gone.

There was a collective sigh.

"That was unnerving," was Shale's flat add-in as the golem stared with flat glowing eyes.

There was a loud bark as Bel slipped out from behind her master and trotted over to the golem, panting up at the stone and wagging her tail intently as if nothing had just happened.

Shale stared down at the more-intelligent-then-it-looked beast, "And what do you want?"

The Mabari barked, almost hopping in a playful way.

A light smirk rose on Terry's lips, "I think she's just as restless as you Shale," the golem looked at the now-male elf skeptically, he scratched the back of his white head, "Go take her for a walk, we'll be ready… _soon_," he pointedly looked around the group already out making it clear it was time to leave. With that said the male elf turned around to grab his remaining possessions from his room.

With their leader's exit it seemed things settled… mostly.

Zevran turned back into her room, Bel followed Shale downstairs, Lenard was still in his room, and a low groan came from Morgan in the room to the right.

Wyn stared at the room to the right with a raised wizen brow, it was _his_ room, after all, and debated what to do with the downed Warlock on the other side of his bed…

A strange sound caught between a sigh and disapproving grunt came from the elder mage's left. Turning, he saw Alissa just standing there, looking to the side with an uncomfortable, slightly angry pout on her face. The older mage patiently waited for her to gather her thoughts.

Light brown eyes traveled the floor a bit before realizing the elder mage was waiting for her to speak, another uncomfortable grunt, "Where'd he go?"

A slight smirk rose underneath the mage's old man beard, "the other side of my bed," he nodded his head towards the groaning spot and Alissa finally looked up with a mild embarrassed blush on her cheeks. Wyn wondered if she was embarrassed for being ashamed of what she'd done or for caring what happened to the cagy Warlock.

The strawberry blonde bit her bottom lip and fidgeted the feathery bag in her hand.

The older mage caught sight of the bag, "Need me to give that to him?"

She fidgeted again, caught in an uncomfortable spot before looking at the mage and holding the bag up, "Probably for the best…" her eyes traveled to the side like she had something else to say but stayed quiet, turning and heading back to 'her' room to gather her weapons as soon as the older mage had the bag.

Wyn sighed lightly, shaking his head and saying under his breath, "Follies of youth," he turned into his room, walking straight to the side of his bed and glancing around it, spotting the young Warlock just laying there glaring at the ceiling with unreadable gold eyes. An amused look passed over the old mage's brows as he tossed the bag at the lounging wilds man.

There was a satisfying 'oof!' as the bag landed directly on his exposed stomach and his golden eyes sharpened to glare at the old man, not saying a word.

Wyn had an amused look in his old grey eyes as he rubbed his beard and looked down at the young black haired Warlock, a _'knowing'_ look Morgan turned away from. Deciding he'd won this round, the elder mage turned from the warlock and went about gathering his things. Unlike the rest of the turned-men he didn't have to worry so much about clothing, mage robes were generally unisex with only few differences between the genders, in the long run it may be poignant to find something more 'masculine' but at the moment 'her' robes would do fine.

There was a grunt behind the older man and he turned just enough to look over his shoulders. The young Warlock of the Wilds had sat up and was staring at his bag, that odd pout on his face. Wyn took the moment to watch him while meandering about gathering his things, in order to confirm his suspicions it would help to get individual observations.

Morgan stared at his bag, well really 'her' bag; a man wouldn't be caught dead with something so… _girly_. The black haired wilds man gave a snort, like he cared; it was _his_ no matter the form. Having that decided he opened the bag and shuffled around making sure that _idiot_ wannabe Templar hadn't taken anything that she could hurt herself with, or anything overly poisonous. A black brow rose slightly as he noticed something _was_ missing, without realizing it the edge of his lip turned up just the slightest bit.

Wyn noticed, while still pretending to fiddle with his own things, he had been watching the younger mage, watched as his expression changed and now sported something far calmer than anything he'd seen on the 'Witch'. The elder mage turned just as the young one was getting up off the floor, slinging his feathery bag over his shoulder, "Leaving so soon?" Wyn wasn't smirking under his beard or anything.

Gold eyes narrowed on the older mage and a mild grunt left the mildly aggressive pout on the young man's lips as he trotted towards the door. There was a snort as he reached the landing, "None of your business old man…"

Wyn chuckled to himself, leaning over just enough to notice the mage walk up to the door across the hall, stand there staring at it for a good few seconds before grabbing the handle and walking in. A wizen brow rose as the elder mage wondered if Alissa was still in there, Mage-Templar war 3 didn't start so he had to assume 'no'.

… Of course when said female not-quite-Templar walked out a moment later with her sword and shield on her back along with her bag the old mage could only blink confused.

Alissa took about three steps from the door when she noticed Wyn staring from his room. That embarrassed blush crept across her face again and she swiftly turned towards to the left and towards the stairs ready to leave.

That familiar chuckle made itself known again as the older mage grabbed his things, giving the room another once over to make sure nothing was left, and quickly made his way out, ready to move on with this new 'quest' of theirs. As he felt the lock click and his hand left the handle he chuckled again, just thinking of this insanity as a 'quest' made him feel like a young girl again. Oh back in the day…

The old mage almost made it to Lenard's room when the sound of another door opening, closing and locking made him pause. Wyn turned back, expecting it to be their illustrious and irritable now-male leader…

… Well it _was_ a 'now-male', young, and a mage… just the wrong one.

"T'is something of concern to you old man?" gold eyes just glared at the elder mage and he couldn't help but look the unscathed Warlock of the Wilds up and down. Little changed, no miraculously new injuries, and he seemed to be sporting a warriors' belt over his leather skirt with his pilfered sword and dagger tucked away in it snuggly and his feather bag fastened to the back so it wasn't hanging off his shoulder like a purse. The withered old elder-icey staff was in hand as he had no other means to carry it for now and seemed to just scowl at the old mage for his appraisal.

There was that becoming-familiar chuckle; "Just curious why _your_ weapons were in Alissa's room?" again, he wasn't smirking, not at all…

Those feral gold eyes narrowed on him dangerously as the younger mage moved closer, "I'll have you know, _mage_, Alistair-" he growled at his own slip, narrowing his eyes on the old man's grin, "That _Idiot_," dignity restored but the old man was still smirking, "keeps my belongings whenever we're in an Inn, seeing as I need no room for the night but don't mind being unburdened…" the black haired wilds man roughly brushed past the old man, feeling this conversation was over.

Wyn stroked his old man beard, "Really? Hmm…" the Warlock didn't have to explain why he wouldn't need a room, according to their leader _Morrigan_ had an issue with being in Inns too long so often took some animal form and made herself comfortable outside somewhere, usually as a bird of some sort roosting on the roof or a cat, but it was everything _else_ he said that had him curious. A wizen brow rose, "Alissa just _watches_ over your things while you're off sneaking around as an animal?" the way the Warlock stopped and growled made the elder mage wonder if he'd said something rude.

Morgan turned on the old man, gold eyes alight with something seemingly offended, "I'm not _sneaking_ off anywhere," if he'd been closer Wyn was sure one of those larger fingers would be poking him in his chest, "And are you suggesting that nitwit incapable of watching over a few belongings not her own?" a wizen brow had to raise as the golden glare seemed to increase.

Feeling no need to address the fact the 'man' answered his own question by calling the now-woman in question 'nitwit', the old man just blinked at the absurdity, "Its more the idea that _you_," he wasn't above poking the younger mage with his staff, "would allow your things in 'his' care," withdrawing staff and ignoring the glare from the Warlock, "let alone that 'he'd' look after them for you?"

Morgan had nothing to say to that, only a grunt and growl before turning around and heading down the stairs.

Figuring that was another victory for civilized society, Wyn smirked, shaking his head and trying to wrap his mind around such absurdity. Morrigan _trusted_ Alistair with her things while they were at Inns, who knew?

The door to the Mage's left opened and out stepped Lenard, sporting a belt over his chest to hold his daggers and a slightly better fitting pair of Sten's metal chapped pants.

The mage looked the over-sized Rogue up and down.

"What?" Was Lenard's intelligent response before shrugging at the old man's grin and heading towards the stairs.

Stana walked out wearing the same thing she had been earlier, a white brow piqued as she looked down at the now-male elder mage, "Something you need, mage?" despite the clippedness, Wyn knew the Qunari and he held a well worn respect for one another, probably because they were the 'sensible' ones or from their heated debates on philosophy and religion.

Wyn gave a sincere grin, "No, no, not at the moment," he rubbed his beard, eyes trailing towards the stairs and a reminder of the oddities of their younger party members, "Though I do wonder about the others…"

There was that familiar dismissive growl, higher in pitch but definitely _'Sten's'_, "They seem to be going through…" there was a frustrated growl as the tall exotic woman looked down on the mage, "I don't know the word in your tongue, but the _Tamassran_ often warned of it to the small children…"

" 'Time of change'?" the old mage gave the woman.

The Qunari looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding, "That will do," her hands went to her hips as she looked at the stairs, "Though it is not that, they are too old, but perhaps the _Senomroh_ are affecting them all the same due to this sudden shift of the body," there was an obvious shutter as the last words left the woman's lips and Wyn was convinced 'he' was still not used to the idea of suddenly being a 'woman'.

A wizen brow rose, "_Senomroh_?"

Violet eyes found the mage's again and she frowned, "There is no word in your tongue… yet," the only response from the older mage was a raised brow, encouraging the woman to continue, "According to our medicine there is… hrm…" she frowned trying to find the right way to explain it to these _primitive_ people, "a '_potion_' in the mind," wizen brow rose higher as Stana's brow lowered knowing the mage was skeptical, "it is what causes the alteration of the body from child to adult, it determines the difference of man and woman…"

Wyn's brow rose as he crossed his arm in thought an perched his chin, "I've read some of this in tomes about the medicinal uses of magic, I forget the word they use, but it was very important to put these different chemicals into consideration…"

"_Chemicals_?" Stana questioned in her flat monotone.

The old man waved his hand, "Yes, a new word not used by many, namely alchemists," at the raised white brow on the woman's forehead Wyn only grinned, "I'm sure it's similar to what you're thinking I'm sure…"

Stana gave that dismissive grunt, followed by slight shoulder shrug, "it is common knowledge to the _Qunari_ that the 'time of change'," Wyn liked to imagine the exotic woman using air quotes like Alistair around the unfamiliar foreign term, "is ruled by the _Senomroh_ which determine the child's future form as an adult," white brows lowered looking rather stern, "They also determine how 'male' or 'female' the child becomes…"

The elder mage crossed his arms around his staff, looking at the tall woman curiously, "Gender is determined at birth, how does this…" he waved a hand not remembering the foreign word, Stana didn't seem offended when the space was left open, "change how 'male' or 'female' the adult is?" 'Wynne' had extensive experience dealing with teenagers and growing young mages, true she'd noticed some children grew up more masculine/feminine but that seemed to come with their personalities and wasn't so much a physical thing that 'she'd' noticed.

Violet eyes closed with a repressed sigh, 'Sten' wasn't a medicine woman or _Tamassran_, she had no idea how this all worked, just knew what 'he' was taught by the _Tamassran_. The growl that followed displayed the woman's frustration, "I don't know all the details, I am of the _Antaam_…"

Wyn supposed he had to count his blessings the woman hadn't stormed off like several of their debates after the follower of the Qun became too frustrated with her 'misguided' views, "That's fine," the older man waved a hand non-threateningly, "There are things about our companions I've noticed, certain individuals specifically," there was nothing suspicious about old grey eyes peeking at the left door a moment over his shoulder, "that remind me of when the young adolescent mages were becoming adults, certain _aspects_ about that time are rather _dangerous_, wouldn't you agree?" while the smile under the beard was disarming, Stana didn't miss the sharpness of the older mage's eyes.

It must have been the change, because Stana looked decidedly uncomfortable, even embarrassed if the _slight_ discoloration on her cheeks meant anything, "I will agree," violet eyes glanced at the room she'd exited.

Both elder mage and female Qunari gave each other knowing looks, silently agreeing to observe the others, watch out for the 'damage' this sudden shift was causing thanks to this change in their _Senomroh._ After reaching their consensus the two headed towards the stairs, it was time to observe, and hopefully get through this already overwhelming day.

Several moments after the Qunari and elder mage were down the stairs, the door to the central room opened with a loud **_Bang!_** Terry stepped out with looking relatively the same, wearing Alistair's dirty shirt over the pants 'she' normally wore underneath he beloved Juggernaut armor. Sadly, said armor was currently in the bag on his back over the Yusaris and between Duncan's sword and dagger since all of it was explicitly designed to fit 'her' female form not a man's, and especially not someone _taller_, so Terry's crystal colored eyes were a little more narrowed and irksome then the last time he'd come out.

Those slitted eyes scanned the empty upstairs, going from the closed door on the left to the one on the right and finally zeroing on the one at the end of the hall. Finding his target the tan and tattooed male elf strode over to the only door that didn't appear fully closed. Upon making it to said door he glared at it under furrowed white brows before reaching a free hand out, grabbing the knob and turning it.

The room was empty…

Not 'empty' as in everything was 'normal' and ready for the next costumer, no, it was completely empty of everything except the dresser and bedframe. Hand quickly met face as the white haired elf tried to figure out what the hell that demented little minx did with the freakin' mattress.

Feeling the breeze, Terry looked up from his hand and noticed the window was open. Stepping over towards it to close it something large and white caught his attention. There, on the lower roof over, was the mattress…

It took all the now-male elf had to resist smacking himself in the face again, instead pulling his arm in and closing the window, pretending he never saw a thing.

Window closed, mattress found, and realizing there was no point to bother looking at the rest to make sure the 'dust' was still there; the illustrious wrong gendered leader stepped out of the room and closed the door, locking it, and wishing he had a thousand gallons of ale to wash away the memory of this day.

* * *

**A/N:** I'd love to just have everyone guessing what 'Senomroh' is, or thinking its a 'real' Qunari word, but that just seems silly, and you'll all miss the true meaning... yes i know i just used a double 'll' hush... i'm from the south... XD

Senomroh - hormoneS

:D mirrors, amazing aren't they!

plus thanks to this i've actually done some research, hormones weren't discovered until 1902, and that wasn't even the sex-hormones, which our dear friends here are suffering from the suddenly 'shock' of having them swapped... you wouldn't believe how hard it was trying to figure out a way to get them to discuss that without them actually having 'science' to back it up .-. figured since the Qunari are like old school science driven arabs (pre-crusades and all :P) and they have 'machines' they therefore have 'science' and therefore 'medical science' so maaaaaaaaaaaaybe they might have 'some' idea what the hell makes the difference between men/women :3

shenanigans i know, but what's this group good for but that XD

and Warlock-tossing, second only to King-Tossing! XD

Comments, questions, opposing views, suggestions for more shenanigans? :3

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	4. Part 4 or Age before Beauty

**A/N:** w00tz, another one for this out :3 certain parties may be pleased XD

from an earlier idea i had for the previous chappy but scraped and made that one... we've still not reached the... crazy-man XD

ENJOY!

* * *

Further on…

Chaos continuously averted… for now… Terry, their grumpy now-male elf leader trudged down the stairs, sure to find more insanity at the bottom. Turning that last corner on the landing, the tan and tattooed elf took one step and…

… nothing.

A pointed ear twitched as crystal colored eyes stared skeptically. Instead of taking the next step down the white-haired now-male crouched on the highest step to the landing and peeked around the bottom of the Inn, once again expecting some form of dooming chaos…

… nothing.

He blinked, "The soddin'-?" from his small vantage point he could make out about a third of the room in front of the bar which the stairs were right next to. It looked empty. Well that was strange in and of itself…

Standing up and braving that next step, then the next, and next, until one of them creaked loud enough to make him squirm, he stood still again. Crouching the male elf took yet another glance down the stairs, being further down with more of a vantage, and still wary of the fact that he heard 'nothing'.

… _still_ nothing.

A white brow twitched at this as he shot to his feet, "Sod it all…" his clanking boots came stomping down the stairs with his shoulders held up to his ears and decidedly 'unhappy' mood written all over his face. Turning the required right into the majority of the downstairs bar, he witnessed something he wasn't sure what to do with…

There in the corner was the remainder of the group, minus Olga, Zevran, Shale and Bel, and while the others were standing around trying not snicker too loudly, in the center was Stana holding Lenard in a headlock…

Terry blinked at this.

Then the raucous roar of snide laughter came about and while their leader had no idea what the hell happened all seemed to be right with the world.

Alissa and Wyn were openly laughing while Morgan was just giving a devious smirk that worked so much better when he was a woman. Stana sported a distinctively not-_Sten_ grin while holding the red head in the headlock as he tried futility to remove the woman's grey arm from round his neck.

"Alright, alright!" Lenard tried moving the woman's arm again, "I get it! You are amazing, even in delicious female form!" that inadvertently caused said 'woman' to squeeze round the Viking's neck tighter, though if it was intended or not was anyone's guess, "Can't… breathe…"

"Oh, T'is no mind," Morgan grinned with that wicked better-on-a-woman smirk, waving his hand nonchalantly, "if you pass out I'm sure someone will take a care to drag you off…"

"… Evil… Witch!" was about as far as Lenard got with his blue-eyed glaring as the lack of proper breathing started making him turn blue. He managed a certain impolite gesture to the man's sneer before Stana finally let go and resulted in unceremoniously dropping him on his face.

Terry stared flatly as the laughter seemed to continue in that corner. No matter, he had 'business' to attend to anyway, and if they were good enough to 'entertain' themselves and not destroy anything he was happy to leave them to it.

The white haired elf made his way across the empty bar to the counter where the Inn-and-bar-keeper stood cleaning out glasses for the night's coming festivities. The short man stared for a good moment, blocking the portly bartender's light and still not getting his attention. Tired of being ignored, Terry raised his hand and opened his mouth…

"We ain't serving yet!" the older fat-human barked, seemingly ignoring the now-male elf.

Crystal eyes just stared blankly, "Kay…" he coughed into his hand lowering it, "I actually wanted to discuss payment for our… 'rooms'," the white haired elf made a gesture to point over his shoulder at the motley crew enjoying a good laugh at a certain red-haired bard's expense.

The chubby-tender stopped his cleaning of mugs and turned on the tiny man with pointy ears, looked at the people mucking about in the corner of his bar then back at the short white haired and fuzzy chinned gentlemen, "Ain't seen you before…"

A tan pointed ear twitched as the elf continued to stare flatly, "Yes, my friends acquired the rooms last night, probably dragging me in plate up the stairs…" he pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards the stairs wondering if this guy was really that blind to not notice the obvious _similarities_ they had to his patrons and the fact he'd just walked down those stairs.

The bartender spit into a mug, wiping it out with a filthy rag and Terry had to resist the urge to shutter, he may be a man now but he still, _mostly_, thought like a woman, and that was disgusting, "Look 'er, mack…"

"Terry," slipped out of the white-haired elf's mouth in a knee-jerk reaction.

The human stopped his 'cleaning', and glared at the elf, "Lookit, I ain't seen you before," he threateningly put his hands on the bar, leaning down to the smaller elf, "and I ain't seen _them_ before…" he pointed a pudgy hand at the weirdos laughing in the corner of the room while keeping his eyes on the tattooed elf in the smelly shirt, "and we ain't serving booze yet, so I suggest you and your lot git outta here, now, before I call the guard…" he leaned in further towards the elf, brows knit low and acting as threatening as possible, "Understand?"

Despite the fact the man was within an inch of his face and completely ignoring his personal bubble, Terry just stared flatly at him, completely unfazed, "Okay…" a pointed ear twitched as he continued to stare as the man backed away slowly, was he prejudice against elves or something? "We'll leave…" not caring to answer his own mysteries and figuring it was just another tick into this strange morning, Terry turned on heel and headed towards the corner.

Currently Morgan was holding the collar of Alissa's shirt fluffed out from under her breastplate and both were within a centimeter of each other's noses touching and just glaring.

Terry's shoulders slumped as he came within hearing distance, "What'd they do now…"

"Something about someone's mother…" Lenard informed offhandedly while rubbing his neck and not standing far enough away from Stana.

The female Qunari was glaring in front of her and Wyn was somewhere in the middle just shaking his head.

The two hadn't said anything for ten seconds and Morgan wasn't growling yet…

Crystal eyes just stared, "Okay…" he cracked his neck, "Well, the _nice_ bartender has informed me it's not drinking time yet, so we're to get the sod out…"

There were plaintive nods from those not involved in glaring at the moment.

"So what was the damage?" Lenard asked, staring intently wondering who was going to give first.

The sole elf gave a mild shrug, "nothing," this had everyone turning toward him, except Alissa and Morgan, they seemed enamored in their glaring contest.

Stana raised a white brow, "How?"

"I don't know…" Terry shrugged mildly again, face still as flat as when he came over, "But I suggest we leave before he realizes the error of his ways…"

Lenard was openly smirking, obviously enjoying this outcome, "Then let us be onward friends! To bigger and better things?" he slapped Terry across the shoulder and gave a mock curtsey to Stana, "Ladies first?"

Violet eyes glared coldly at the _slightly_ shorter man, but the exotic woman took the hint, turning abruptly and heading for the door.

Lenard was grinning as the giantess passed him, quickly straightening and following her out.

Terry just shook his head, arms crossed before turning to Wyn, "Coming?"

The old man chuckled, rubbing his beard, "I think I'll stay to shoo these two out," he nodded his head over his shoulder at the two _still_ glaring.

Again the elf shook his head, this time with a sigh, "forget them," a wizen brow rose and the elf caught it with a smirk, "watch," the elf stood up to his full height, coughed dramatically into his hand, and an evil sparkle entered his eyes, "ALISTAIR YOUR PANTS ARE UNDONE!"

"My what!" quicker than whiplash Alissa's head turned to their leader, eyes wide and just staring at him.

Due to the not-quite-Templar staring at their infamous now-male leader she completely missed a certain 'Warlock' of the Wilds' hand let got and eyes went obviously down.

The two tower mages' didn't miss a thing and both were snickering to their devious little hearts' content.

That was when both the words and the obvious lie they were registered to the adorable strawberry blonde. Her hands clinched into fists as grumbled something impolite under her breathe, raising one fist to the mages and barking at them, "That's not funny!" before she took off.

Again, due to the not-quite-Templar woman facing the wrong way she completely missed the dark wilds mage still staring after her.

Both tower mages tried to contain their snickering, and Terry managed it enough to stare flatly at the dark man, "Get a good enough look?"

The dark mage turned from his view, seeing as Alissa just went out the door, and turned a golden eyed glared on their diminutive leader.

Terry smirked back, completely unfazed by the 'man's' look.

With a grunting snort the Warlock of the Wilds turned away, going out the door the others had.

And with that last problem solved the tan and tattooed elf turned a winning grin to their eldest looking member, clapping his hands in a 'cleaning off' gesture, "See, problem solved!"

Wyn gave that becoming familiar chuckle, "I see," he shrugged a shoulder and nodded for the junior mage to follow as both headed for the door, "I'm curious how you figured that would work?"

The elf smirked, "Experience," there was a twinkle in his eye that told of a long story involved with the word but that it was a secret he was never going to tell.

The elder circle mage just chuckled as the two made their way outside.

Once outside the two watched as the other four meandered about, shrugging this way and that, or more specifically pointedly ignoring each other. Wyn simply shook his head while Terry put his hands on his hips ready to get this 'quest' started.

"Alright, guess first things first," the white haired elf snorted as he crossed his arms looking imposing, "We gotta go find this crazy man and figure out what he did to us!"

Everyone just flatly stared as if that was obvious and already discussed.

The elf coughed, "Right," he rubbed his white mini-bearded chin, "Guess that means we head over to the town hold and have a nice 'chat' with the guy…"

Morgan rolled his gold eyes, leaning against a low wall, over this conversation already.

Alissa just sighed shaking her head.

"Well," Lenard rubbed his own stubble, the idea of it still strange to his normally-female mind, "Zevran and I dropped the guy off with the guards before they gave us directions to the Inn," he pointed at the bar/Inn behind their leader they'd just left, "Dunno where they took him though…"

"Great," Terry said in a decidedly miffed way, "Any other great ideas?"

"_Kaden_," there was a cough from the decidedly higher tone voice of the female Qunari who'd walked over to the elf, "Do you require everyone for this… _task_?" the look on the grey-skinned woman's face was hard to read but if Terry didn't know any better he'd have sworn she looked embarrassed.

A white brow rose on the smaller man, "Suppose not?"

Stana looked to the side, as if watching their surroundings for any eavesdroppers. Her violet eyes seemed to give Lenard a specific glare a moment before turning back to their leader, _still_ seeming oddly uncomfortable, "There is something I'd like to… _acquire_…"

The white brow on the elf's forehead rose higher, still staring with no understanding, "Ooookay…" Terry stared at the taller woman with mild confusion. What would have the Qunari so… _'Embarrassed'?_ That she could barely say it… let alone ask to '_acquire_' it?

The tall woman gave that _irritated_ dismissive growl of Sten's, in a higher pitch as she obviously crossed her arms under her… _assets…_

Caught by the motion, crystal colored eyes immediately went to the woman's chest… something about that seemed to ring a bell in his mind… like it was important or something….

"Oh~!" was that a Zevran-esque squeal from the large red-haired bard? Looking over Terry noticed the Viking was grinning from ear to ear as he stepped up to the two 'talking', eyes specifically on Stana, "**_I_** know exactly what you need!" despite being about eye level with the woman, having a deep voice, broad shoulders, topless, and most importantly now-_'Male'_, there was no mistaking **_that_** look in Lenard's eyes.

Terry stared distraught for a moment before immediately taking a step back from the two tall people.

Out of the corner of his eye, the elf noticed the dark wilds mage shutter as _that_ disturbing feeling came across his shoulders at the look in Lenard's eyes.

There was no mistaking it, with both their reactions that could mean only _one_ thing…

_Leliana_ sensed an excuse for a shopping spree coming on!

Both younger now-male mages shuttered again as the bard was grinning and staring Stana up and down with unbridled glee.

Stana just stared at the red head, completely confused by his sudden proximity and 'gaiety' at the prospect of… _something._ The formerly male Qunari had no idea what this reaction meant, having no prior experience with it, so just continued to stare at the man.

"I'm thinking a sturdy leather with perhaps a half-plate there," the female Qunari looked down to see the man pointing at her right breast.

This elicited a very Sten-like growl.

"Or not," Lenard immediately retracted his hand, fearful of the woman biting it off.

Terry's hand met face, "Just go," he sighed deeply, knowing that somehow this was going to spell something along the lines of 'doom!' but seeing little way around it. Splitting the fingers on his hand just the slightest, the now-male elf could see the female Qunari, specifically her chest, proof that they _definitely_ needed _someone_ to go about getting proper clothing, 'his' own pants certainly needed changing along with Alistair's Maker-forsaken shirt. When Lenard made another attempt to offer _kindly_ fashion advice and the grey-skinned woman nearly ripped his arm out their illustrious leader figured it was time to play 'Leader', "Lenard…" there wasn't a growl or anything in his voice, not at all, "You will _help_ Stana here in acquiring proper clothing for all of us…" when the red-head Viking rose his hand as if to make a point the much shorter tan elf glared ice at the man, "**_Appropriate_** clothing!"

The red bard immediately slumped, dropping his hands and _mildly_ glaring, "No fun…"

Terry continued to glare.

The red head looked away, "Although…" his eyes spied the rest of the group, "I'm going to need measurements…" his fingers came up and tapped in front of him like some form of mad genius, the mild grin forming on his lips as his eyes trailed Stana and Alissa only made it more obvious.

There was mild growling, although from Morgan or Terry was anyone's guess…

A white brow twitched as the male elf crossed his arms, "I know you, you're the _mistress of fashion_," a _slight_ smirk came about the tattooed man's face when the now-male Bard slumped again, "You don't need to _physically_ measure anyone to know their right size…"

The red-head eyed the male elf skeptically before a red brow rose and a _slight_ smirk came to his face, "Touche…"

A wizen brow rose as Wyn decided this was a perfect opportunity to re-join the conversation, "What's this about?" the older mage looking between the grinning bard and now-scowling elf.

"An evil, evil contraption _'she_'," he pointed a smaller than the rest of them hand into the large human's face, "bought me in that village outside the Bracillian Forest!"

"Pfft…" the Bard waved the smaller man off as he floated towards the darker side of their current party, Morgan glared, "It fit you quite nicely!" he threw over his shoulder, ignoring the golden glare on him as he was mentally getting the man's measurements.

"That's not the point!" the little white-haired elf looked like he was about to explode as he sent death through his eyes at the man, "How could you **_think_** I would **_ever_** wear such a thing!"

The red head turned back with a raised brow, "I thought you looked cute!"

Their leader visibly twitched and Wyn was morally required to put a hand on the man's shoulder lest he enact some vengeance on the fashionista.

"Oh I remember that," Morgan's gruff voice held the barest hint of a smirk, even if his face didn't show it, "I thought it suited you very well…" his lip twitched but still no _open_ smirk.

"Laugh it up witch!" the elf shook his fist at the once-woman, icy eyes burrowing into him.

Wyn cleared his throat, squeezing the man's shoulder a bit tighter trying to get him to calm down; his miasma had activated and was scaring the people walking past them.

Stana simply shook her head, while 'he' had not _seen_ this horrendous we-shall-never-speak-of-it-ever-again outfit, he and 'Alistair' had _heard_ the commotion 'Tess' had kicked up about the outfit in question... Along with 'Morrigan's' rampant laughter.

Terry seemed to have gotten the hint from Wyn, having closed his eyes and flexing his hands as his breathing slowed down. A white brow was still twitching when he addressed the Viking again without opening his eyes, "_Appropriate_ clothing, Lenard!"

"Hmm?" the man's head perked a moment before he waved his hand dismissively, "Yes, yes…" currently the tall man was staring at Alissa. His taller, more imposing form, shadowing the shorter, stocky woman, as the bard had one hand holding his chin and his baby-blues examining 'her' rather intently.

Becoming the focal point of anyone's scrutiny Alissa could do little more than squirm at the uncomfortable realization of having to look _up_ at what was formally Leliana; it was very, very strange.

The Viking rubbed his stubbly chin, still seemingly unsatisfied, "Hmm…"

A tad amount of color dusted across the strawberry blonde's cheeks, "Umm…?" As 'Alistair' she had been very comfortable in her body, being a man and all, since it was 'normal' and what 'he'd' been born with, but now that 'he' was a she and _she_ realized there were various 'things' _different_ about the female anatomy 'he' hadn't thought about the not-quite-Templar woman had become rather self-conscious. It was bad enough that morning with Morgan throwing 'his' old top at her telling her to put it on… to even suggest she could pull off what Morrigan did daily sent about a million red-flags off in 'her' head. Thus the defiance with the breast-plate…

Now this…

She swallowed unnecessarily hard as the larger man leaned down for a _'closer_' look.

There was a mild growl next to them, Alissa could practically _hear_ the rolling eyes, "Why not just take your knife out and cut it off," the shift in motion to the woman's left caused her light brown eyes to catch the Warlock crossing his arms but golden eyes remaining intently on the red-head, "Save the time guessing…"

Alissa turned an interesting shade of red when she noticed the Warlock's intense gaze move to her a moment before continuing its self-righteous glare at the man in front of her. Without thinking her hands went up and crossed over the breast-plate, more specifically covering up the leather straps that held it in place.

Lenard blinked, a pout seeming to form on his lips as his head lazily turned towards the Warlock of the Wilds. The bard's look was entirely flat, but the moment he caught the mild shift in the wilds man's hackles being raised a sinister smirk rose on his lips, "_You'd **like **_me to do that, _wouldn't_ you?"

Alissa's eyes gained a fraction in size as they turned on the dark man.

Morgan's golden demon eyes just narrowed on the bard, a miffed growl being the only thing to come out of his throat before he pointedly turned away from the both of them.

The Bard smirked threateningly at the Warlock's retreat.

"Ugh…" Their leader's head meet hand again and his shoulder's visibly slumped, "Lenard, just _go_!" he waved his hands in the general vicinity of Stana, "Get the _damn_ clothes already!"

The Viking stood up straight with his hands on his hips, a pout coming across his lips as he looked at their white-haired leader, annoyed at him for ruining his 'fun', "Well how am I supposed to do that," without looking his hand closest pointed at Alissa eliciting a squeak from the smaller woman, "If I can't get Miss. Covered-in-plate's appropriate size?!"

If anyone was looking, Alissa twitched at the mention of 'size'.

A tan hand came down and icy eyes glared at the red-head, "Guess, Lenard!"

In unison the two pouted at each other, then simultaneously two sets of blue eyes turned on the woman in question.

Alissa merely blushed more at the added attention.

The Viking and elf slumped.

Morgan rolled his eyes, pointedly looking _away_ from the poor woman, "Idiots…"

The red-head grumbled, hands still on hips as he turned back to their leader, "Well that's no fun…"

White brows twitched as the elf closed his eyes again, "Just get the clothes…" his ear twitched when he heard a deep sigh and white brows twitched again, "_Appropriate_ clothes… Lenard."

The larger man just rolled his baby-blues, waving a hand about shoulder height, "Fiinnee~" the red-head strolled up to Stana, looked the tall woman up and down again, ignoring her own stern glare, before grabbing her hand and started dragging her off towards what was _probably_ the market, "I'm not making any promises!" he threw over his shoulder with a flamboyant wave.

Stana looked anything but comfortable.

The tan and tattooed elf that claimed to be their leader just sighed heavily, "I swear, by the Maker that man better get decent clothing else I'm throwing him off the nearest cliff…"

"Second," came Morgan's gruff voice.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Wyn decided to ask the obvious. The three mages former-women present had all had their 'experience' with Leliana on a shopping spree, no doubt being turned into a man had done little to dampen the bard's _exuberance_ for the pass time. The only person that seemed to have a knack for handling the situation 'better' was Zevran, and more often than not that only resulted in a probably _worse_ situation.

"No," the male elf said flatly as he rubbed his eyes feeling tired of this day already, "But someone has to do it," he looked up at the elder mage flatly, "And honestly do you see anyone else being able to grab something that could remotely _fit_ anyone, especially Olga, with nothing but a glance?"

Wyn rubbed his old man beard, "Point taken."

"Umm," all eyes turned to the _still_ covering her chest not-Templar, "Where _are_ Olga and Zevran for that matter, if I may ask?"

Terry stared flatly at the _slightly_ taller woman, "probably off terrorizing the men of this town with what that little minx calls 'clothing'," a hand came up and pinched the bridge of his nose, just the thought gave him a headache. He frowned, taking a deep breath, "And Shale should be taking Bel for a walk," he stared at the sky for a moment trying to take in some serenity, "So that leaves us to do the _actual_ work…" the elf sighed at that. Having to go off and find some lunatic in some hold somewhere while they were all the wrong gender just seemed like such a task now that he actually thought about it. Seriously, why him? … Her?... whatever…

"Too much for you already?" a decidedly gruffer then it needed to be voice broke the Warden's train of thought. Terry immediately zeroed in on the voice, eyes narrowing as they landed on Morgan just glaring at him with a passive scowl.

Terry frowned, not liking the unbridled challenge in the man's voice, "I never said it was too much to handle…"

The Warlock snorted, shrugging his bare shoulders and kicking off the wall he'd been leaning on. He brushed past the shorter elf, bumping his shoulder without so much as a word before looking back with a mild glare, "Shall we then?"

Terry's eyes became icy as he brushed up to the Warlock, sized the taller man up and stared at him straight in the eye, "Hmp," it was his turn to bump past him, eliciting a small growl from the wilds man, "Let's find someone to tell us the way already…"

Morgan continued to glare at the smaller man's back, the scowl deepening and not leaving his features. His hackles were raised around their leader and he didn't know why, not that it mattered, the 'man' would prove incompetent somehow quickly anyway.

Alissa looked between the two, tilting her head slightly at the small exchange, it was certainly weird. Those two normally got along so well yet the moment anyone _else_ was gone they were in each other's faces over seemingly nothing, "What the hell?" the woman slipped under her breathe as her eyes went from the elf to the wilds man and stayed on him a moment.

Morgan bristled, feeling the woman's gaze on him; quickly gold eyes turned on her and tried to stay glaring even though the bite easily slipped away, "What?"

Strawberry blonde brows cocked as she walked up to stand beside the Warlock, "Just wondering what's wrong with you?"

The dark man snorted and looked away, clearly in denial that _anything_ was wrong about the way he or their leader were acting.

Alissa just shook her head, deciding it was probably best _someone_ be civil here and play the wall between the two for however-long this _issue_ was going to exist. She quickly walked up to their leader who was looking about for a guard or someone to talk to with Wyn somewhere ahead. She heard the Warlock follow her not far behind, and while _normally_ as 'Alistair' the idea of the… 'Witch' of the Wilds being behind 'him' always brought about that creeping feeling up his spine, as Alissa she didn't feel anything threatening at all. That was strange.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw the dark man walking with his staff in hand and gold eyes just staring forward not far behind her. He was just staring ahead like nothing was there… very strange.

Alissa faced forward again. This whole situation was just weird, why weren't they glaring each other or arguing or… _something!_ The stocky woman shuttered at the silence, a strange _anticipation_ fluttering in her stomach making her feel off balanced. Was this something that was just 'wrong' with women?

It seemed she wasn't the only one that thought the _silence_ was weird, not far ahead of them their Leader had stopped as well. She noticed his ear twitch in that funny way that said he was confused by something simple. Alissa stopped in her tracks, watching their leader and curious what he was going to do…

It was barely a moment after she stopped that she felt Morgan practically stomp his way past her. She could _feel_ his magic bristling but for some reason she doubted he even realized it.

"Lose something already?" Alissa could tell from his voice he was glaring, even if for some odd reason he stood in front of her.

From the side she could see that their leader had turned around at the sound of the Wilds Mage's voice, his white head cocked to the side as if confused.

From the proximity Alissa could feel Morgan's magic bristle again, he seemed to be doing that a lot more and was he moving _purposely_ in front of her?

"Lose your voice too?" the Warlock antagonized, and Alissa moved slightly out from behind him and could see Terry's white brows lower as he fixed an icy glare on the dark mage.

"I was wondering why it was so quiet," White brows lowered as he turned fully to the dark haired mage, "Though I suppose I should be asking what hell's wrong with you?" Morgan took a step and the two seemed to have locked their eyes in some kind of glaring contest.

Alissa could only cock her head, wondering what the hell was wrong with them. When Terry had finally spoke she felt his magic kick in as well, matching Morgan's even if his was more obvious, the Miasma eking out of his body and the will o' wisp floating around his head were obvious battle signs for the Arcane mage. Morgan wasn't doing much better, his elemental magic bristling under his skin as his free hand twitched towards his dagger on his belt.

The not-quite-Templar couldn't understand what was going on, without thinking her own frustration at their stupidity made itself known as her own Templar magic kicked on, "What are you guys doing?" the two seemed to shiver from something for a moment as the pressure of her Templar magic grew when she stepped forward, glaring at the both of them, "We have something **_important_** we need to do right now, not…" she waved her hand in the air between them all, "**_This_**…"

Both mages turned towards her as if she were the first woman they'd ever seen, both of their eyes just staring slightly wide and blinking for some reason she didn't quite understand.

The breast-plate wearing woman lowered her strawberry brows as she crossed her arms, "What?"

Terry raised one hand absently and pointed at her, but no words seemed to make it to the male elf's mouth.

Morgan's dark brows lowered as he just continued staring at her.

"Is this a bad time?" all eyes turned towards Wyn, who seemed to have come back to see the three in a standoff of some sort.

Alissa gave a pout as she looked at the older mage, "No," she looked from the white haired mage to the black haired one. Seeing as neither of them were being coherent at the moment she rolled her eyes and walked between them up towards Wyn, arms still crossed and seeming in no mood for whatever was going on between them.

Terry blinked, still pointing following the woman, "did she-?"

Morgan only blinked.

Wyn too thought their stunned stares were strange, the older mage looked down at the woman now in front of him, he hadn't been that far away be he _knew_ the feel of Templar magic, intentional or not he wondered what could have happened to cause the young woman to invoke such a force, "Did something happen?"

Alissa's brows were flat but she didn't look the least bit happy, "just- nothing," she sighed looking down, taking a deep breath and trying not to look angry, "Did you find out where we needed to go?"

A wizen brow rose, the old man's eyes stern on the young woman who looked like she just wanted to move past whatever little outburst he'd missed, "Yes," he put a hand on the woman's shoulder, relieving a tension from the strawberry blonde she probably didn't even notice she had, "While you were… _handling_," there was _not_ a smirk under the beard, "These two, I spoke with a guard about where they keep their prisoners…"

"Where?" Terry's voice sounded far more confident than it did a moment ago as the white haired mage stepped up to the two, ignoring the Warlock behind him.

Wyn gave that old-man-grin, ignoring the younger mage's impatience, "Seems they keep them in the dungeons…"

"Dungeons?" the white haired elf blinked skeptically.

"Dungeons," the older mage gave a chuckle that they were getting used to hearing, "Seems its right below the castle…"

"Castle?" Morgan decided to get over whatever had happened and joined the rest; he still looked miffed and shot Alissa more than one strange glance.

"Yes, castle," the elder mage chuckled, ignoring his dark haired apprentice's aggressive posture, "No need to keep repeating me," he turned in the direction the guard had told him the castle was, "Now come along then…" he waved a hand behind him as he moved ahead to lead the group.

Alissa immediately followed Wyn, wanting nothing more than to ignore the strangeness that was hanging over the other two mages. Her thoughts raced with their strange actions, especially Morgan's and his weird provoking of Terry, even stranger that the elf fell for something so obvious. Did they both just suddenly turn stupid? Or was it something she could only now see thanks to suddenly being turned into a woman?

"You get used to it," Wyn said next to the young 'woman', almost as if reading her mind.

Alissa blinked her light eyes at the older man. Had he just read her mind? Why wasn't he acting so strange as well? At least fifty other questions ran through the young now-woman's mind as she looked to the elder mage as only one managed to make it to her lips, "How come you're still… _sane_?"

There was that worldly chuckle again, "It's not so difficult," the elder mage's eyes sparkled as they looked to the shorter woman, seemingly amused about something, "When you reach my age and have experienced as much as I have in life, you know who you are… it's harder for strange occurrences like this to catch me off guard…"

Alissa blinked, "So you're saying you're not…" she momentarily looked over her shoulder at the scowling and grumbling now-male mages, "Stupid," was the best word she could think of as her strawberry blonde brows furrowed as her eyes came back to the elder mage, "Like them because you're older?"

Wyn smirked, "I'd say 'more experienced', though age may have something to do with it," he was rubbing his beard seemingly in thought before gazing down at the woman, "You're older than them, correct?"

A strawberry blonde brow rose, "Yes?" the look on her face made it obvious she didn't understand what that had to do with anything.

The elder mage smirked, "Well, women 'grow' faster than men, so as you are now," he made a gesture to the young woman, "You're actually somewhat 'older' then you were as a man."

The not-quite-Templar's eyes blinked at this information.

The smirk didn't leave the older man's lips, "now think about them?" he nodded over his shoulder to the two mages that looked ready to get into a fight, "As women they were younger then you physically, now as men they're _even_ younger, at least mentally," he shook his hand, hands feeling tight from all this examination, "It is my experience with growing young adults that there are specific nuances about certain ages between men and women," wizen grey eyes became sharp on the young woman, "And this 'affliction' seems to only prove my observations…"

Alissa swallowed hard, trying to settle this information, "So you're saying it's an 'age' thing that has them acting… stupid?"

That worldly chuckle returned, "Perhaps," there was a knowing smirk underneath the beard Alissa couldn't properly decipher, "I know at my age, or even someone of Leliana's age things are more… _stable_, but the three of you are at the most chaotic time, or well _they_ are," that knowing smirk remained as the old man's eyes took in the young woman, "You may have just stepped out of it now that you're female."

One strawberry blonde brow was raised as the not-quite-Templar woman just stood there staring at the older man, "I'm so confused…"

Wyn looked back with a chuckle, "You're not the only one," he shrugged his head back and the younger woman looked over her shoulder at the two other mages. Despite their earlier antagonizing of each other, both seemed to be walking in hunched positions and trying to pointedly ignore one another.

Terry looked up at Alissa with a piqued white brow, quickly followed by Morgan raising his head and glaring at the elf. If things continued along this vein the woman knew the two would get into another fight.

Without realizing it, she just sighed.

* * *

**A/N:** i'm sexist in my own right... i tampered with the end there because apparently some people find 'Tamplar-magicks' EXTREMELY offensive in their off-hand use... i find them iritating when 'certain people' use smite and wipe out all my buffs... just saying...

so i've not much to say in random specifics...

review to the crazy! :D

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


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